Mr. Mystery

I go through phases with being active on Tinder. I'm in a semi-active phase.

It started with a right swipe. We matched. Typically I don't write to guys first... not because I'm a snob, but usually guys don't talk unless they talk to you first... or at least not for very long. So most of my matches, I have never talked to. Sad I know, but a lot of people use it as a self esteem boost. Anyway, this guy was cute and I happened to be a little bored so I decided to say hi.

That hi turned into a short conversation getting to know each other a little bit. He asked me what I was doing that night. I told him I was about to go to the lake to watch the sunset. My friend was going to meet me there. I didn't tell him that though. Soon, he is telling me that he is going to the lake to watch the sunset too and that we should meet. But then he kept telling me how nervous he was to meet me. That is kind of cute right? I told him I was with my friend, but when my friend left, I would be happy to meet up with him.

He agreed but then chickened out. He left the lake by the time my friend left. He said he would meet me somewhere else. I mentioned a few places. We finally decided to meet at Slate Canyon Park. I gave him directions there and waited for him. He told me he drove up but didn't see me, but I never saw him. Then he told me he had to go help his dad and wanted to meet up with me later that night. I agreed.... but I didn't hear from him again until I had given up and gone to bed.

I was a little disappointed... just because he was cute and I enjoy meeting new people... but I never put too much stalk into meeting people from Tinder. They rarely lead to anything. I thought it would be fun to meet up and have a fun conversation though.

From that day on, we continued chatting back and forth on Tinder. Started asking each other get to know each other questions and learning more about each other. In fact... I know more about this guy (or I think I do) than I have about any guy since my last boyfriend... which took months to get to know this much. We are so much alike. We think similarly, we act similarly in situations, we want the same things.... I keep waiting for him to say something that I really disagree with every time I bring up a new topic, but so far, he hasn't. Too good to be true? It just might be.

This has been going on for a few weeks now. We still haven't met and he has never even asked me for my phone number... which is not normal. After talking for a certain amount of time, most guys want to move it off of Tinder and just start texting. I have suggested it, but he tells me that his ex girlfriend of 6 years still has his passwords and access to see his text messages and wants to protect me from her. And now he doesn't want to meet until he is really ready because he already feels attached to me and doesn't want to ruin it by me getting involved in his "mess". What is his mess? He tells me he is living with his Grandma and taking care of her full time until she passes, whenever that happens. He told me he also has medical issues himself.

So... do I find it a little fishy that we haven't met and he won't text me and he has an excuse for everything? Absolutely.

So far I have only told my friend Amber about this guy because she was the one with me at the lake when I was going to meet up with him that first night we started chatting. As far as I'm concerned... there is nothing to tell until you actually meet the person and go out more than once. Which hasn't happened. Therefore, nothing to tell. She is convinced that he is married and that is why he won't meet me and that is why he has all the excuses.

That is a possibility. Or, maybe he is just messing with me, making up stories and chatting for his own amusement with no intention of ever meeting.

Or he is not who he says he is and he is afraid to meet because I will find out the truth.

Maybe that ex girlfriend isn't an ex... maybe they are still dating and he is bored so he is having a little fun on the side.

Or he is telling the truth, which would make him even more great because he is taking care of his grandma and we really do have everything in common and could potentially be a great match but he is new to online dating because he was in a relationship for 6 years and so the whole online thing is still new and scary for him.

What do you think? Too fishy? Too good to be true? Is he telling the truth? Or could there be another excuse of why he won't meet me or text me?

It's been almost a month of chatting... and it's still a mystery to me.