Confessions of a Brunette on the Internet 347

It's confessions day again. The weeks seem to go by so quickly. Remember when you were a kid and time seemed to go by so much slower. Why is that? Is it because you don't have to worry about as much and are just having fun? Don't have work and responsibilities? I mean... you stay busy... but it's a different kind of busy than when you are an adult. As an adult it just seems like the years just fly by and you look back on a picture and think... what? That was 10 years ago? Where did the time go? At the same time... I look at pictures during different times of my life and feel like I have lived a bunch of different lives that don't flow together because of being single for so long and so many people coming and going from my life. It's kind of strange actually. Besides loneliness and longing for companionship from a relationship of a spouse... I think the hardest part of being single for me is not having any consistent people in my life. Of course that is the beauty of family right? They are always there, but it is kind of not the same once you are adult because all of my siblings have families of their own... so I have made friends in my life my family... but they don't stick around and I get hurt and feel abandoned. Like even my newest friend that I was so excited to have. All of the sudden she got a boyfriend and I was out of the picture with the snap of a finger. It's hard for me to have to go through that over and over and over again... so the older I get, the more I start to see myself close off from people, which isn't good. A lot of people my age do it. I understand why... because I do it, but I think it takes a tole on all of us.

Speaking of family... a lot of this last week has been with family, which has been nice. I blogged about the big surprise birthday bash that we threw for Kristy and Jess. Friday after my trainer, I spent the rest of the night with my sister's Jamie and Lori decorating the house and blowing up balloons and trying to get as much done for the party as we could. Saturday all day was the same. Prepping... until we went to go pick them up for the series of events. It was such a fun and action packed day. So fun to go from one activity to the next. I think what made it even more fun is that my family NEVER does this sort of thing. I think because of that, it made the day that much more special. Even though I live in Provo, I got to do some fun activities that I hadn't done before. Now I can say I have done Get Out Games and FastKart Speedway. So fun. And the party with the kids was a blast too. I really just love my family. Everyone is great and I enjoy spending time with everyone. I wish it happened more often, but that being said, I think that everyone has made an effort to be there when it counts and to all be together once a year it seems. So that is great.

Sunday Jamie and Dan and kids left to go home, but Lori and family was still in town and we all had dinner at Kristy's house after church. My parents kitchen is being remodeled, so we will be at Kristy's house for probably a month before going back to my parents house. Of course I will be gone for part of that.

I can't believe my trip is coming up so fast. I guess I did also buy my plane ticket a month before my trip which makes it a lot shorter to wait... but still. I always feel a little nervous when I am doing long flights out of the country by myself. I know it will be fine, but it is just nice to have a travel companion you know? Especially my way back... it will be pretty miserable. But it of course will be worth it in the end. I of course have no plans for when I get there and it won't feel like I am actually going until I am on the plane there... but it is happening... and it is happening soon.

Monday is when my crazy work schedule started. Let me tell you... it hasn't been very fun. It's been pretty exhausting working at least 12 hours everyday, if not more. It has sucked all of my energy that I have. They didn't even want me working out with my trainer this week so that I would not leave work. So I had to switch my last week with my trainer to the first week of November. It will be hard week with not only not being able to work out with my trainer, but eating junk everyday... because that is what we do during quarter end. They feed us so we won't leave. Ha ha... it's good food, I just feel like crap by the end of the week because I usually eat a lot healthier and exercise more. I have been doing the best I can though. Doing what I need to do to stay on top of everything. Work and my health. After work on Monday I went to go hang out with my family and say goodbye to Lori and family since they were leaving the next day. It was nice to hang out with the family after a long day at work.

The rest of this week... honestly, I have just been working. Trying to at least get to the gym on my lunch break... but working working working and then I get home between 8 and 10. Fun right? Not only do I have to stay on top of my regular work which doubled when I was the only one left doing it, but I have a massive project with a deadline as well. I'm getting it done... like a boss. It will be nice when they hire someone else and I can start to train them knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Not that I can't handle it... because I can and I am... but you know, I want to feel ok about taking my vacation. ha ha. I am going to be SO ready for this vacation. 2 weeks off is MUCH needed right now. :)