Winter Brunch

I had decided at the beginning of the holiday season (when we were all deciding who was taking what days off for work) that even though I wasn't going anywhere for Christmas, that I was going to take the Monday and Tuesday after Christmas off of work. 

When I woke up on Monday, I was SO glad that I did. It was a major snow day and they didn't plow the roads until the afternoon (typical) and it is a nightmare driving with that much snow on the roads. Also, I wanted to do a brunch with my roommates before Penny moves out and that was the only day that worked with all of our schedules. So we had a snow day with roommate bonding. That sure beats going into work!

Everyone that knows me knows that I love to throw dinner parties (or other meals) and it's all about presentation if I am going to do it. I saw these snowmen pancakes on Pinterest and decided that was what I was going to do. Penny made the buttermilk syrup and I took care of the rest. It was a delicious brunch feast. We all loved it.

I also gave my roommates their Christmas gift from me. I thought they were so cute that I got one for myself as well. I have to say that Urban Outfitters has the cutest stuff. Got one for MacKenzie too... but she won't allow picture taking, so we just took the picture without her. Plus by the time she gets back Penny will be gone. :(  I love the mugs and I love my roommates.

P.S. I know we spell Tap. We arranged that way on purpose.

Photo of the Week 250

It took a while (which I didn't mind) but Utah is now a Winter Wonderland.

Mr. Emotional Basket Case - Part 2

I feel so sad that there is a part 2 to Mr. Emotional Basket Case. Why? It means It has been a year a half and I am still dealing with this emotional mess. After I last wrote about him... I didn't hear from him for a while... but that is just how he is. I don't hear from him for a while and then he comes back randomly. I somehow turned from a person of interest into his therapist. He would call me or come over to talk about everything going wrong in his dating life and so on and so forth. I NEVER contact him. Not ever. I never think about him when he isn't randomly texting or calling me or showing up at my house. I really think he is emotionally unstable, so I mostly respond out of pity. I mean if he is contacting me, someone he doesn't really have a history or strong friendship with for his problems... he must not have many friends.

The last time I had head from him/ given him a therapy session was about 2 or 3 months ago. Then the night before my birthday I get a call from him. I was in the movies with my roommates... so I didn't answer, but I saw who was calling me. I thought, maybe Mr. Emotional Basket Case is wishing me a happy birthday. That of course would mean that he would be calling me with no agenda... that never happens. Of course that was wishful thinking. After the movie was over, on the drive home my roommates and I listened to this message left on my answering machine from Mr. Emotional Basket Case.

"Good Evening Miss..... Mills. Hope you're doing good. I've seen some nice pictures of you on Facebook and I think you're doing awesome. Hey I was just uh....uh.........uh...... I'm having a hard time. I got a feeling that you probably know why. And uh.... I'm doing ok. Actually I'm doing really good. Doing great........ A lot of confusion....... a lot of sadness........... Actually there's really no confusion. But I'm moving on. Anyway I ...... was.... kinda wanting someone to talk to....... but at the same time.... I think I need to quit talkin ..... and move on. Hey! Anyway I don't want this phone call to be a downer for ya. I hope you're doing awesome and doing good... uhh....  I don't want you to worry about me and .... uhh.... I hope you're having a good night wherever you are. I think I'm going to go swing by Institute...... Maybe go country dancing tonight I guess........... always enjoyed that. So I'll talk to you later. Thanks. Bye. "

When I listened to the message I just laughed. It is so typical of Mr. Emotional Basket Case. You see where he gets his name? I did end up talking to him later to see why he was so distraught and it was because the girl that broke up with him 3 months ago (what our last therapy session was about) was engaged to another guy and he was having a hard time/ doing great.

Well, I got a text message from him today. Whenever I see his name pop up on my phone I think... what does he want now. Probably not something you want people to think when you contact them.

You don't ask anyone for anything? The only time you contact me is because you need something! Our "friendship" is you draining me of emotional energy and you not caring about whats going on with me at all.... but what do you need? Please continue...

Where would he get the idea that I am interested in him at all? That by him passive aggressively asking me to take his pictures would be leading me on when I never EVER contact him, let alone think about him when he isn't bugging me for emotional support. Yeah..... ok. Was I too harsh? ha ha

Orem Lakeview Lights

Remember how I told you I went to see the lights in Orem by myself on Christmas Eve? Well... I was glad I did. They are beautiful. Just some rich person's house... but it draws a lot of people to go look at them. I wasn't the only that was there that night.

Here are some of the pictures I took that night. Have I mentioned how much I love my iPhone 6 camera? It takes great pictures.

Temple Square Christmas Lights - Take 5

I love going to see the lights at Temple Square at Christmas time. I try to go every year and I typically  make it. Last year I went with the ward and John. Since I have to go to ward counsel now, I knew they were planning to go as a ward again and so I was waiting for that. Instead, last minute we went to Salem pond... Allison and I were a little disappointed. So we made the trip ourselves and invited Dallin to come along with us.

This year was not even close to being as cold as it was when we went last year. It was so cold last year that it made it almost a miserable experience instead of a good one. This year.... we still hadn't had snow yet and the cold was very bearable. Although it was crowded as it typically is, we had fun walking around and admiring the beautiful lights and taking pictures and then we drove home. So glad that I had friends that wanted to go with me because I would have hated missing out on the lights.

The first picture below I stole from my friend Nicole's husband off of Facebook because I loved it so much. The rest of the pictures are mine. :)

Dijon & Maple Syrup Chicken

This sounds kind of weird, but the flavor is actually REALLY good and this is so simple and fast to make. It turned out tender and flavorful. This was a huge hit at my dinner party and I would make it again for sure. I bet this is one you could let sit in the crockpot as well.

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1/2 cup Dijon mustard
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
• Salt & pepper
• Rosemary

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
2. In a small bowl, mix together mustard, syrup, and vinegar.
3. Place chicken breasts into 9×13 greased baking dish. Season with salt & lots of pepper. Pour mustard mixture over chicken. Make sure each breast is coated.
4. Bake for about 30-40 minutes.
5. Season with chopped rosemary.

Christmas Card

I always want to send out Christmas cards because I love getting Christmas cards and want to send them back to my friend and family that send them to me.... but I feel too lame doing it as a single person (even though I have other friends that do). Now that there is Instagram, I feel like it is more socially acceptable to do it via Instagram, so that is what I did.

The first one is the one I thought about posting but didn't. The other two are the ones I posted Christmas Eve Eve and Christmas Eve. Maybe I will keep it up and do it every year that I'm single. We shall see. I can't wait until I have a family to put on a Christmas card, but until then....

Confessions of a Brunette on the Internet 251 - Merry Christmas

Work has been super slow. We have just been sitting around and eating junk and getting fat. Which makes me feel crappy. I don't know why I do it. It's just so easy to do. I really need to get it together with the new year. In fact on Monday... literally all we did was watch the BYU football game and eat chips and dip. I don't even really like watching football, but it was better than working. Or not working because there was no work to be done.

Sunday we had stake church. That is always an interesting thing... we combine as a stake because so many people go out of town for the holidays and then they ask random people to speak. One girl talked about an analogy and compared the atonement to the Provo Tabernacle getting struck by lightening and burning down so they decided to turn it into a temple. My roommate and I and the random guy sitting next to me all at the same time say "that's not what happened". I mean I guess being struck by lightening is kind of the same thing as an electrical fire. Then the next guy that spoke look like a character our of "Clue" with his tan suit and old fashioned purple tie and matching scarf and slicked back hair. He went into a VERY detailed analogy with cooking and how he messed up gravy in detail and tried to use impressive vocabulary in his talk that didn't quite fit and then started crying when he bore his testimony about because of Jesus he will be able to find someone that loves him and he loves her and be able to get married (I don't think you need Jesus for that) and because he he had a testimony of Jesus he could be come a God and create worlds and civilizations. He was QUITE thankful to know he will become a God and create worlds because he mentioned it at least 3 times throughout his talk. It was all too much. Bless his heart. He looked right out of high school.

Yesterday I worked a half day, then did some last minute shopping for Christmas and then went to go see the lights that you can see off of the freeway in Orem by myself. I went last year with John... but I just felt like going again because I didn't have anything else to do. They are super pretty. I mean... if they catch your attention from the freeway, you know they are good. After that I also drove by the cemetery by my house because on Christmas Eve it is always beautiful. They are tea light bags and wreaths around the entire cemetery. Anyway, I took more pictures (that I will show more of later) of the Orem house lights... but here is what you see from the freeway.

It snowed today. Everyone got a white Christmas. My nieces and nephew were praying for it. I know it is exciting to a lot of people... but I was fine with the way things were. However, I did get to test my car out with how it does in the snow. It is awesome! So nice to know I'm going to be so much more safer this winter in my new car. I was always so tense driving in the snow before... now I don't need to be. I love that.

Well, it's Christmas. I wish I had a better attitude about this year. Having similar feelings about Christmas as I did on my birthday as I'm sure I will on New Years Eve. It's 3 weeks of feeling uneventful and feeling extremely lonely and even kind of pathetic. It's not anyone's fault. It's just how I feel. I hate feeling this way. Every year it gets worse. Maybe next year I should just take an awesome vacation for 3 weeks and just skip them. Or would I feel the same but just in a different location?

There are certain times of the year that a single person feels very single. This is one of them. It's just me and my parents while we wait for the rest of my siblings to be done having Christmas with their own families before they come over and have Christmas with us. I try to put on a happy face, but what I really wanted to do for the past couple of weeks is just cry... and that might have also happened as well. I wish I was fine and happy being a lone... but I'm not. Well.... sometimes I am, but not all of the time. I know I just wrote that letter to myself saying everything was fine. I meant everything that I said in that letter so I feel a little hypocritical writing all of this now, but the reality is... it is hard. I hate having this trial and I don't know why I have to have it.

I think I'm even more frustrated right now because divorced guy that I thought things were going well with just dropped. I tried to get him to be a man and communicate with me, but he couldn't do it. Just tried to be Mr. Nice guy but then also not be honest with me when I asked him and just do the confusing crap of wanting to chat with me but then apparently want nothing to do with me. Not sure why when he was the one that was all about me for a month or so after we were set up. I just don't need that in my life though. I need a man that is mature and can communicate with me. I have also gone on dates with other guys... which I literally just sit there and listen to them talk about themselves for however long the date goes on for. The entire time I am listening to them talk about themselves I'm thinking... why did you want to go on a date with me? It surely wasn't to get to know me. If it was just to talk about yourself... well... there is therapy for that.

I'm so tired of guys wanting me around just because they are bored or lonely or want to talk to me like I'm a therapist. No guy wants to actually date me, they just want to use me for their own personal gain in one way or another. All I want is for a guy to want to be with me because he thinks I'm special and beautiful. Different from a lot of the other girls out there. I want a guy who is equally interested in me as he is in himself. I want a guy that is mature and secure in himself and can communicate with me. I want a guy that actually cares about ME! Not as a sexual object, not as a therapist to talk to when they are having problems and not someone to do something with because they have nothing better to do. I want them to want to spend time with me because they would rather spend time with me than do anything else. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently it is.

So this Christmas I'm wallowing in self pity. I hope your Christmas was better than mine. Merry Christmas.

Photo of the Week 249

The reason for the season. Merry Christmas Eve!

Christmas Dinner Party

I'm all about tradition... and dinner parties, so I did another Christmas dinner party like the past two years. I invited Tara and Sara again since all of our family is in Utah, we don't leave town like everyone else... so it's been a nice tradition for all of us for something fun and festive to do close to Christmas. I also invited Dallin who is also around for Christmas this year and Ian (my co-chair) who is also not going home from Christmas because his family is coming here. I have been hanging out with Ian more and more because I just think the world of him. He is fun.

I love moving the table into the living room and having the room just lit by Christmas lights and candles. I have always been all about ambiance though.

We had another great menu this year. I of course will post all of the recipes later, but I tried all new recipes from Pinterest again and they were all awesome! Sara also likes to cook and try new recipes from Pinterest, so she brought two side dishes. Asparagus and a squash dish. Both good. I had Dallin bring the fancy drinks, Tara brought a delicious salad. Ian was a last minute invite so I told him he didn't have to bring anything... but he brought a "fancy chips and dip" ha ha. It was all great. I made the main course. The most amazing and easy to make chicken. I also made some greek yogurt biscuits and a peppermint cheesecake (in cups) dessert. They were all amazing and I would make them again for sure.

Everyone enjoyed the dinner.... and the company. People came over at 6:30 and didn't leave until around 10. It was great! I love this tradition and plan on continuing to do it every year.

Dinner & BYU Basketball Game

My dear friend Wes text me last a few days ago and wanted to wish me a late happy birthday and take me out to dinner and to the BYU basketball game on Saturday and catch up since we had not seen each other in 2 years!! We couldn't believe we let that much time go by without seeing each other and catching up when we were so close. I guess that is what moving a half hour away does to you.

I suggested we go eat at the Riverwoods since I love all of the lights they have up all year round, but especially at Christmas. We ate at Macaroni Grill and caught up on what has been going on in each other's lives for the past two years. It was like old times and like it was just yesterday that we talked. Then we walked around the Riverwoods checking out the lights before we headed over to BYU for the game.

We got to the game a little early and were in the student section, so we actually had amazing seats. I'm not that into watching sports, but I can get into it when I am at the game... even though I didn't go to BYU and don't have a ton of BYU pride... especially to be sitting in the student section where people have THE MOST pride.

My favorite thing was that Elder Bednar was there, so every time someone made a free throw, they would say "swoosh, Bednar" and it took a while for Elder Bednar to catch on, but as soon as he did, every time they said it he gave everyone a big thumbs up. It was cute. It's hard to see in this picture below, but if you look close, I got a picture of him giving the thumbs up.

 It was fun. It was a great game. BYU won. Wes and I had fun cheering and singing the fight song.

SO glad I got to hang out with Wes. It has been WAY too long. So happy we are friends. Thanks Wes for treating me to such a fun night! Let's not wait 2 years to do it again.

Gingerbread Houses

Friday night we made Gingerbread houses per my request. I love doing festive activities every holiday, and this is one of the Christmas activities that I enjoy doing every year. Thankfully my roommates are awesome and agreed to do it with me. We also invited Ian (my co-chair) who we love having around. Allison bought the house kit to decorate. I always decorate a house... so when I saw the mini village, I decided to get that and do something different. I think they both turned out super cute. I love having them on display. Hooray for Christmas activities and bonding with roommates and friends.

A Letter To My Younger Self On My 13th Birthday

Dear Tracy,

I'm writing to you now because I wish I could have read this letter when I was in Jr. High. Why? I worried about a lot of stuff that I shouldn't have. I think that if I would have known what would come in my life, I would have worried less about things that were out of my control and been more excited about the possibilities that were ahead of me.

First I should rip the bandaid off and tell you that on your 32nd birthday, you will still be single. I know that sounds like the worst news ever because the only thing you see in your future is completing school and then getting married and having kids. I don't blame you for thinking this way. This is all you know right now. It is hard to think outside the box when you don't know of all the possibilities that are out there.

Right now you look at yourself as an ugly duckling. I assure you that you will eventually get braces and learn how to dress, lose some weight and turn into a beautiful woman. You aren't married because guys are not interested. You date a lot. You will even get engaged when you are 25 (the time you predicted you would be married by) but it won't work out. It will be one of the hardest things you go through, but it will be for the best. You will come out on top. From that devastating experience you will realize what a good healthy relationship is, you will become more confident and learn so much and know what you want out of a relationship. You will learn and grow with each relationship you have... although there will be a lot of frustration and sadness with all of your dating too (you are even thinking about writing a book about it). Just know it's all for the best and you are not single because there is anything wrong with you.

Now that I have gotten the bad news out of the way, let's get to the good news. If you are not married by 32 and don't have kids... what are you doing with your life? What do you have to look forward to? Life will have it's up's and downs like it does for everyone. You are really happy and know how to make the most out of what life has to offer. That hasn't changed about you. You just have more money and resource's as you get older. :) You currently and will continue to be blessed with great friends. They come and go out of your life... some are lifetime friends, but no matter what happens, you always make new good friends. Thank goodness... or else being single for so long would be a lot harder! You learn to be very independent as you move away from home. After college you go through several jobs before you end up at a great one that pays you well and that you are good at. It provides you security and good benefits. You are a very goal oriented person, so you learn and accomplish things that you didn't think you could. You will learn how to play the guitar, run a half marathon and a sprint triathlon (you were never very athletic, so this probably comes as a surprise to you... don't worry, both were hard). You will graduate from school, go to a tech school to become a Massage therapist and pass the state board exams. You will sing at Disneyland every Christmas for 15 years. You will lose 50 pounds (no easy task, you always struggle with weight). Not quite sure where this comes from, but you become quite the fashionista (as your nieces call you), an interior designer and a party planner.

You also become an adventurer. This also may come as a surprise to you because you didn't grow up this way... in fact you were afraid of so much for so long. However, you and Lori will backpack Costa Rica for two month together in college and it will change you. Now you thrive on adventures. To give you an idea of the things you have to look forward to that you will do by your 32nd birthday. You will have traveled to 21/50 states and to 5/7 continents. You will have seen 3/7 wonders of the world (Taj Mahal, Colosseum & Machu Picchu). You will experience a lot of things that most people don't experience in a lifetime. You will have seen the Mayan Ruins in Guatemala, the Inca Ruins in Peru, the Roman ruins in Italy & Greece and the Buddhist ruins in Cambodia. You will face your fears and get scuba certified and dive around the world. You will shop at a Bazarr in India, get blessed by a  Monk in Thailand, take a cooking class in Italy, go on an African Safari, go fishing in the Amazon, fly in a tiny airplane, go parasailing, rappel down a waterfall, kayak through sea caves in the Channel Islands, sleep in a cell at Alcatraz, see the war sites in Vietnam, hike down the Grand Canyon, walk across the Golden Gate Bridge, Swim with dolphins and sea turtles and sting rays, look a Great White shark in the face in a Shark Cage dive in South Africa, snuggle with a tiger, ride an elephant bareback through the jungle, play with monkey's, camp and hike at many National parks and snow shoe to yurts. This is just to name a few. You will do A LOT of amazing things!

So you see, you may not have the future that you thought you would. Not that you wouldn't love to be married and have kids, but you have so much to look forward to. So don't stress about not being married by a certain age. Enjoy all the adventures you have in front of you. Your life turns out awesome.

Aren't you super excited now? You're welcome. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Tracy

Old Wheels - The Ford Focus

Just thought it would be fitting to say a farewell to my old car. My 2003 Ford Focus. It was good to me for the 8 (close to 9) years that I drove it. It was a reliable car for me. Took me to work. Took me on many adventures. Got me out of tickets. Survived a deer jumping into the car (that still amazes me) and A LOT of good memories were made in this car. I look forward to all of the memories I will make in my new car... but until then, farewell to my trusty Ford Focus. Thanks for the good times and treating me well. I hope you treat the 16 year old that bought you well. :)