Be a Cheerleader

 The older that I get and the fewer friends that I have, I am a lot more aware of the type of people that I am spending time with and why. What are they bringing to the friendship that I need? 

I am a super loyal friend. I always have been. I tend to give more than I receive and at my age... I no longer want to put effort into relationships that I am not getting back from. Not that I won't spend time with people that want to hang out with me... I will. I am always looking and am open to new friends, but I am less tolerant of putting up with one sided friendships anymore, so if I feel like I am putting in a lot of effort and don't feel like I am a priority to them, I bow out. We are still friends, I am just no longer putting in effort and getting emotionally attached. Is it a little lonelier this way because I have less people in my life? Yes. But I am also less hurt and feel like the friends that I do have in my life are quality friends... ones that truly care.

On a similar note, I also have really noticed how I feel when I am with certain friends. I may have a friend that is loyal, but if they mostly just talk about themselves and are mostly negative, I keep the friendship but its a little draining to me. I don't get as excited to hang out with that particular friend vs other friends. 

My favorite friends to be with are not only fun, but are my biggest cheerleaders. Of course everyone wants to be around people that are cheering for them, but I only recently realized how much I really need this in my life. I don't feel like I get it from my family. I am super hard on myself and have a hard time believe in myself... so being around other people that really believe in me makes the biggest difference to me. The best examples of these friends in my life is Stacey & my cousin's wife, Heather. They both are always super exited to spend time with me and think the world of me, but they both believe that I am super talented and that I can do anything. I hoenestly don't believe that I deserve that much credit, but I feel so good when I am with them and I really feel like I can do anything when I am around them. What a difference to be around people that build you up like that vs the friends that just complain to you every time you are with them. Its so draining. I feel like people like Stacey and Heather have a gift. To always build people up like that and make them feel so special... that is a gift! I wish I was naturally like that.

It does make me think though... what kind of friend am I? Am I a downer to be around? Fun? I know people tell me that I am a good listener (and I love that because I think it is important) but I also want to be a cheerleader for people and I don't know why, but that doesn't come naturally to me. Is it because I am naturally a little bit of a jealous person so its hard to fully be supportive of people? Maybe? Or maybe its just sometime that comes natually to some and not so much to others.Either way, I want to be the friend that is fun  and not draining to be with, I am loyal and a good listener and try to be a safe space for people to open up in... but I also want to be a cheerleader, to build people up and to give more compliments. 

What kind of friend are you? Something to ponder.