A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

New Guy

So maybe a month ago, there were a couple of guys that moved into the ward. With the ratio in our ward being 3 girls to every guy.... this would normally be a very exciting thing. I was excited to talk to this guy for the first time and see what he was all about. I was quickly disappointed. He was weird. Great. A guy that is flirty and wants to go out with the girls in the ward and he is awkward and weird. Then we have the somewhat normal guys that will not ask girls out. Can't win. Anyway, you are probably wondering why I think he is weird. He is socially awkward. The second time I had ever talked to him he was flirting with me at a party *he will flirt with any girl that lets him*. I had left the party for a couple of hours and then came back again. When I came back he told me that there was something beautifully different about me. Asked me if it was a new purse? New hair? New clothes? Um weirdo... I look exactly the same as when you saw me two hours ago. You are trying too hard to flirt. Then he started telling me how talented he was... you know, he plays the piano, he sings, he's a writer and even a ballroom dancer. Meanwhile people are playing rockband, he asks me if I like playing. I said yes... he asks me what level I play on. I said expert. He asks me how I am not married if I can play expert on rockband . Well gee, I don't know. I didn't know that is all it took to get myself married.

The next Sunday, my roommate didn't realize that she had a meeting after church, so I needed to find a ride home. By the time I realized this... most people had left. This new guy had happened to be right there and offered to give me a ride home. I looked around to see if there were any other options. Nope. Stuck. I knew this guy was awkward, but I decided to put up with the awkwardness than be stuck at church.

New Guy: I can give you a ride.
Me: Um, okay. Thanks.
New Guy: P.S. I am parked on the other side of campus.
Me: Why would you do that?
New Guy: Well, it was either park on the other side of campus and be on time or park in our parking lot and be late.
*I am thinking how this does not make sense at all, but I am not going to ask questions*
**Note- This conversation is shortened... but this conversation seemed never ending and it was the longest walk to the car AND the longest 7 minute drive back to my house**
New Guy: So doing anything special for Valentines Day?
Me: Taking a nap. You?
New Guy: No, still getting over my last girlfriend.
Me: When did you guys break up?
New Guy: A year ago.
Me: Umm... how long did you date?
New Guy: 5 months.
Me: Um, okay. Well... sorry. It can be ruff.
New Guy: Ya, she won't even talk to me now when I see her on campus. I try and wave and say hi... but she just ignores me.
Me: Oh, interesting.
New Guy: She wouldn't let me kiss her until we were engaged. We were almost there, but then she broke up with me.
Me: Wow, really interesting. Um, how old was she? Maybe she was just a little immature and not ready for a serious relationship.
New Guy: She is older than me, and I'm 24.
Me: Okay.
New Guy: Ya, she was kind of a Molly Mormon. I tried to talk to her about sex and she acted as though it was a sin to talk about. But I hear some wives hold it against their husbands, and that is something I need to know!
Me: (starting to feel really awkward)- Well... there is a time and a place for that. * And thinking, right now is not the time or the place to start talking about it with me*
New Guy: I have also tried talking to a Bishop about it and he didn't want me to go into detail. But really... I think all guys have sexual issues, they are just at different degrees. Sorry, I'm probably scaring you... but you did ask me why she broke up with me....
Me: Ummm..... no.... I didn't. I did not lead the conversation here AT ALL. But look! My house. Thanks for the ride. Later.

Remember how I have told you that I attract awkwardness. Yep, I still think it is true. This is NOT a conversation that you have with someone that you just barely met and have only talked to 3 times. I will not get into the questions he asks in Sunday School. We will just say, it makes everyone feel uncomfortable.
The End.


Bre Ahrens said...

oh, tracy, i do NOT envy you. But remember, experiences like this make great stories for years to come!

THE LIZARD'S said...

I cannot stop laughing. This is all so crazy. How do you get these guys to open up so much?

Tessa and Adam said...

Thoroughly enjoyed this. Totally great. I love your guy stories.

Abby Wright said...


Karen said...

Yikes! The dude's crazy. And not the good kind. I, mean I know that I'm crazy, but I consider it fun-crazy. No one likes hanging with a creepy-crazy kind of person.

jamie hixon said...

Oh, I thought this was going to be a GOOD kind of new guy. So sad. In so many ways.

politicchic6 said...

eeeehhh... pretty sure I need a shower because just hearing about New Guy McIckersons is contaminating. Remind me to tell you about the "Roll on the bed Tie Guy" some day. It is classic.

Dallas and Kirsten said...

I swear I do not know how you find these guys! I can't help but LOVE the stories though, so just think of the humor you are bringing to people's lives! I miss you!!

Lauren Graff said...

You are too funny...I love story!

Jenni and Mitch Miller said...

Hahaah this story was so funny. Youre too beautiful so guys get all flustered up trying to talk to you!