Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Photo of the Week 317
This was one of the sunsets from last week. It's awesome when the colors affect the entire sky instead of just the west. I took this from my back patio. These are the mountains that I get to look at everyday... and I'm pretty happy about the view and living so close to the mountains.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Happy 4th Birthday to Irelyn
Keeping the birthday tradition alive, I drove up to Salt Lake to take Irelyn out for her birthday treat with Aunt Tracy. Just like Reanne, I was a couple of weeks late, but that mostly had to do with her Grandma Di Di being in town.
Last year, Irelyn wanted frozen yogurt for her birthday treat. This year... she wanted a pink cupcake. She has turned into all things girly. Most Sunday's she comes to my parents house in some princess dress. It's pretty cute. So I took her to "The Chocolate" to pick out a cupcake. Thank goodness they had a pink cupcake (vanilla with strawberry frosting) otherwise she might have been pretty disappointed.
She was chatting and climbing everywhere she could find in between taking little bites out of her little cupcake. It's pretty cute to listen to her talk about life and all of her many facial expressions that go along with all of her thoughts and feelings about different things. We had a fun little outing. Happy Birthday Irelyn. You are growing up too fast and I sure love you a lot.
Monday, April 11, 2016
Loneliness
The other day I was on the phone with one of my best friends, Steve. He has been married now for almost 3 years and has a little baby girl and I haven't talked to him since... well, since the baby was a baby. She is now over a year, I'm not even sure. Anyway... while we were chatting he was telling me that he doesn't get any time to himself... which is why we never talk anymore. Just his commute to and from work. That is hard for him.
On the other end of the phone I was thinking... man, I wish I had someone that wanted me to spend all of their time with me. Not that I am that needy and need to spend every minute of every day with someone... but I'm saying I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and feeling quite lonely.
I know that loneliness doesn't go away when you get married. I hear all of the time that married people feel just as lonely if not more so than being single. I have never experienced that, so I don't know what that is like. I only know what my experience has been during my single years.
These last few weeks I have really been feeling the loneliness and it's been hard... hence why I am writing about it. It would probably be more helpful to go to a therapist, but I blog it out instead. It helps sometimes.
I feel like my emotions are like a roller coaster. I have a lot of highs... I feel like I am positive and happy most of the time, which is of course where I like to be at. I know that I have friends and people that love and care about me, but at the drop of a hat... I can feel like nobody cares about me at all, which I know is silly, but I legitimately feel that way. These last couple of weeks I live my normal life and hardly interact with anyone. Things with my roommates had not been great so when I am home I am in the basement by myself. At work, I sit in the corner with my headphones on and don't really talk to anyone all day. An entire day can go by and I will hardly talk to anyone all day long. I realize that this is partially my fault too, but when I start to think that nobody cares, I subconsciously test it... to see if it's true. I distance myself on purpose to see if anyone will notice or care. So when people don't talk to me, I have proven that nobody cares. I completely realize how stupid this is and how stupid it sounds... but this is really what happens inside of my head and I know it's happening and I still let it happen even though I know better.
It is very important for me to have friends and to connect to people on a deep level. It's hard to find friends that connect back. When I find them... I really latch on. Not in a needy way, but I care deeply for those people and would do anything for those people. Because I care so deeply, I am easily hurt. I feel rejected easily. For example... to add to my loneliness and sadness, my "Dancing through Utah" project fell through. He backed out. Deep down I kind of knew he would, but for some reason it still stung when he did it. I get so excited about things... but it wasn't even that. I looked at it as a fun project to do together... that will not only be fun, but be an excuse to spend time together and bond... like our trip to Brazil. I now consider him a very close friend. So when he backed out and said he just wants to veg at home when he isn't working. In my brain he isn't just saying I don't want to do the project, he is saying... I don't want to spend my free time with you. Which may or may not be true, but that is what I read out of the situation because it isn't a time consuming project. So then I feel rejected and I question... should I consider someone that doesn't really want to spend time with me when it isn't convenient a good friend? Someone who I'm afraid I'm bugging them every time I text them? Someone who doesn't reach out to me to see how I am doing or spend time with me for weeks at a time? That is just one example. Then that process spirals to ... what is it about me that makes me such an inconvenience as a friend? Am I not an enjoyable person to spend your free time with? So on and so forth. I do have some great friends that I know are there for me no matter what and have been for years, but they aren't in my current circle... so as great as it is to have them in my life, they can't physically be there for me. They are married, they are in a different state, etc.. Lolly is the best example of great friends in my life. I actually text her today needing encouragement with this loneliness I am feeling and she text back right away and was there to talk and support me in whatever way that I needed. She is the best. I just wish there were more friends like her. I feel like when you are an older single, people just don't want to invest in friends like they did when they were younger. I'm not talking acquaintance friends... I'm talking real friends like Lolly. It's tough because those are the type of friends that I need. At least a couple of them anyway.
On top of that, I'm not dating. I have gone on dates here and there, but really... I rarely get asked out. I'm surrounded all day everyday at work by married people. I wonder how in the world I will ever meet someone. Every year that goes by seems more hopeless. Then thoughts go to... I'm never going to find someone and I won't get the opportunity to have kids. Then thoughts lead to... why doesn't anyone want me? I always thought I would make a great wife and mother, I feel like I have a lot to offer, but maybe that isn't what is seen on the outside. I don't know how other people look at me. I seek validation from men online in the wrong ways that are not even helpful to me in the end. I try to fill the void in different ways. The thoughts that go through my head about myself when I'm feeling this way can be pretty nasty. I hate it. I don't want to view myself that way. I always lecture other people never to view themselves that way. I would never talk to someone else the way I talk to myself. Why do I do it?
Then one day I will feel love from someone in some way and it is enough to snap me out of this dark place that I go. *Don't think that I get depressed or ever want to kill myself because it never even get's close to that... I just get in this bad funk that is hard to get out of sometimes so I watch a lot of tv so that I can get involved in another world instead of facing my own* and then everything is back to my normal happy self... until something happens (or a a lot of somethings happen) that makes me feel that deep loneliness again, then you just have this post on repeat.
Right now... I'm lonely. I wish I had more friends that wanted to spend time with me and really cared. In the meantime, I will try harder to make more of an effort towards other people and try not to slip into the deep dark pit of depression when I get rejected. I have really been missing my Grandma a lot these last couple of weeks. Not only because I miss going to visit her but she also made me feel like the most special person in the world. I could use some of that.
On the other end of the phone I was thinking... man, I wish I had someone that wanted me to spend all of their time with me. Not that I am that needy and need to spend every minute of every day with someone... but I'm saying I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and feeling quite lonely.
I know that loneliness doesn't go away when you get married. I hear all of the time that married people feel just as lonely if not more so than being single. I have never experienced that, so I don't know what that is like. I only know what my experience has been during my single years.
These last few weeks I have really been feeling the loneliness and it's been hard... hence why I am writing about it. It would probably be more helpful to go to a therapist, but I blog it out instead. It helps sometimes.
I feel like my emotions are like a roller coaster. I have a lot of highs... I feel like I am positive and happy most of the time, which is of course where I like to be at. I know that I have friends and people that love and care about me, but at the drop of a hat... I can feel like nobody cares about me at all, which I know is silly, but I legitimately feel that way. These last couple of weeks I live my normal life and hardly interact with anyone. Things with my roommates had not been great so when I am home I am in the basement by myself. At work, I sit in the corner with my headphones on and don't really talk to anyone all day. An entire day can go by and I will hardly talk to anyone all day long. I realize that this is partially my fault too, but when I start to think that nobody cares, I subconsciously test it... to see if it's true. I distance myself on purpose to see if anyone will notice or care. So when people don't talk to me, I have proven that nobody cares. I completely realize how stupid this is and how stupid it sounds... but this is really what happens inside of my head and I know it's happening and I still let it happen even though I know better.
It is very important for me to have friends and to connect to people on a deep level. It's hard to find friends that connect back. When I find them... I really latch on. Not in a needy way, but I care deeply for those people and would do anything for those people. Because I care so deeply, I am easily hurt. I feel rejected easily. For example... to add to my loneliness and sadness, my "Dancing through Utah" project fell through. He backed out. Deep down I kind of knew he would, but for some reason it still stung when he did it. I get so excited about things... but it wasn't even that. I looked at it as a fun project to do together... that will not only be fun, but be an excuse to spend time together and bond... like our trip to Brazil. I now consider him a very close friend. So when he backed out and said he just wants to veg at home when he isn't working. In my brain he isn't just saying I don't want to do the project, he is saying... I don't want to spend my free time with you. Which may or may not be true, but that is what I read out of the situation because it isn't a time consuming project. So then I feel rejected and I question... should I consider someone that doesn't really want to spend time with me when it isn't convenient a good friend? Someone who I'm afraid I'm bugging them every time I text them? Someone who doesn't reach out to me to see how I am doing or spend time with me for weeks at a time? That is just one example. Then that process spirals to ... what is it about me that makes me such an inconvenience as a friend? Am I not an enjoyable person to spend your free time with? So on and so forth. I do have some great friends that I know are there for me no matter what and have been for years, but they aren't in my current circle... so as great as it is to have them in my life, they can't physically be there for me. They are married, they are in a different state, etc.. Lolly is the best example of great friends in my life. I actually text her today needing encouragement with this loneliness I am feeling and she text back right away and was there to talk and support me in whatever way that I needed. She is the best. I just wish there were more friends like her. I feel like when you are an older single, people just don't want to invest in friends like they did when they were younger. I'm not talking acquaintance friends... I'm talking real friends like Lolly. It's tough because those are the type of friends that I need. At least a couple of them anyway.
On top of that, I'm not dating. I have gone on dates here and there, but really... I rarely get asked out. I'm surrounded all day everyday at work by married people. I wonder how in the world I will ever meet someone. Every year that goes by seems more hopeless. Then thoughts go to... I'm never going to find someone and I won't get the opportunity to have kids. Then thoughts lead to... why doesn't anyone want me? I always thought I would make a great wife and mother, I feel like I have a lot to offer, but maybe that isn't what is seen on the outside. I don't know how other people look at me. I seek validation from men online in the wrong ways that are not even helpful to me in the end. I try to fill the void in different ways. The thoughts that go through my head about myself when I'm feeling this way can be pretty nasty. I hate it. I don't want to view myself that way. I always lecture other people never to view themselves that way. I would never talk to someone else the way I talk to myself. Why do I do it?
Then one day I will feel love from someone in some way and it is enough to snap me out of this dark place that I go. *Don't think that I get depressed or ever want to kill myself because it never even get's close to that... I just get in this bad funk that is hard to get out of sometimes so I watch a lot of tv so that I can get involved in another world instead of facing my own* and then everything is back to my normal happy self... until something happens (or a a lot of somethings happen) that makes me feel that deep loneliness again, then you just have this post on repeat.
Right now... I'm lonely. I wish I had more friends that wanted to spend time with me and really cared. In the meantime, I will try harder to make more of an effort towards other people and try not to slip into the deep dark pit of depression when I get rejected. I have really been missing my Grandma a lot these last couple of weeks. Not only because I miss going to visit her but she also made me feel like the most special person in the world. I could use some of that.
Friday, April 8, 2016
Trash n' Fashion Show
The Provo Library had a Trash n Fashion Show tonight. My friend Josh (who lives a couple doors down from me) signed up to show off his talent. The show was to create fashion using recycled materials. He had a few looks in mind so he asked the ward if anyone wanted to help him out and be models. I told him I would help him out if he didn't have enough people volunteer. He asked me right away for my measurements. He must not have gotten enough people. Ha ha. I figured it would be fun and I would be helping out a friend. So I sent in my measurements on Tuesday. By Tuesday night... my dress was made! Talk about talent. I had no idea what I would be wearing. Thursday morning before I went to work, I went to go try it on. It fit perfectly.
Today after work I ran home, curled my hair and put on foundation and grabbed some heels and went over to the Provo Library. Beautiful building isn't it? On the 4th floor is where the fashion show would take place. I put on my dress and then Becky came to help with hair. Josh did my makeup the way he wanted it.
Then it was time for the fashion show. Turns out, it was just Josh and one other lady that entered pieces in the fashion show. So it was low key and it was quick and it was fun. Josh let me keep my dress (although I can't see myself ever wearing it again) but he kept the head piece.... which I would also never wear again, but it was fun to wear it for the fashion show. Everyone loved my headpiece. My dress was sewn out of bedsheets.
It was fun and I was happy to help out Josh.
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Confessions of a Brunette on the Internet 318
Now that it is starting to warm up outside, it's freezing in the office. Can't win. Good thing I keep a blanket at work. Another reason why I miss my office, I could shut my door and let the sun heat up my office. I miss those days.
My right ear has been ringing all night. I don't even know why. It's annoying.
On Sunday the power went out in all of Provo and Orem for about 4 hours. Stacey had text me asking about it while I was at my parents house, so I knew what was going on before I got home, but driving home was so creepy. The power was on everywhere up until the street that I turn on to get to my house, everything beyond that was dark and black. It's a big city to have no power... so imagine at night with an entire cities lights out. It was pretty crazy. I got to my house and my roommate had put tea candles on little plates all over the kitchen and living room so we could see. In the basement... thankfully I have candles in every room anyway... because I like candles, so I just lite all of them. I don't do that very often. I was surprised how much that lit up the basement. It was kind of fun. It was quite, no distractions, low lighting. To pass the time I practiced my guitar. Perfect time to do it. My ward had an entire conversation about it on facebook and everyone was making jokes. Everyone had nothing else to do. Amazing how the power going out leaves you with not much to do... at night anyway, During the day, who cares, I would rather be outside anyway, but at night... Most of my projects are on the computer. My laptop has battery so I could have still been on my computer except with no power, there is no internet. Oh well. I thought it was pretty fun.
I got my Ukulele in the mail this week. I just need to tune it and look up some songs online and learn the chords and I am in business. I'm excited. It's a very summertime instrument.
I took my huge pile of crap to DI this week. That felt good. I'm sure there is still more I can get rid of. I just haven't gone though everything yet. For the basement I have bought a new coffee table and side table/shelf.... now I have bought a new bookshelf with my other Amazon gift card... so when that comes, maybe I will go through my books next.
My visiting teachers don't really come, but they dropped by cookies. I shouldn't have eaten them, but I did... oh well. I also got sucked into buying Girls Scout cookies this year.... there are a few boxes just sitting in my pantry, unopened. They have been there for a couple of weeks. Good will power on my part right? Also, I'm not sure why everyone spells my name with an e... but they do.
I drove up to Salt Lake yesterday to get my lashes filled. I hate driving up to Salt Lake after work. Work traffic is so stupid. I can understand the traffic from construction going on... but I almost got in an accident because someone just slammed on their breaks when we were all going pretty fast on the freeway. They probably just weren't paying attention... so I was SO close to running into them and the person behind me was SO close to running into me. It was close enough to scare me and then piss me off. There was no reason for it. Ugh.
Still working out, still dieting. I am getting to comfortable with eating treats... so I need to work on that, but I did lose another 3 lbs. So I guess that is 3 lbs closer to my goal weight. I guess I should be happy as long as I am not gaining, but I know I have so far to go that I want it to come off FAST! Ha ha. I am joining the 10,000 step challenge at work next week, so I will do the gym on my lunch break and then walk/jog after work every day. Hopefully this will help me lose some more weight. Hopefully it will help me get in a good habit after the challenge is over too. More walking would be really good for me since I have a desk job. And just prepare me to be in better shape for summer hiking.
General Conference was so great. It was especially great because I had no problem streaming AT ALL this time. I soaked it all in. The closing talk by Elder Holland was amazing. Best closing talk. In between sessions on Sunday I hammocked at the park in the sunshine. It felt SO great and I plan to do a lot more of that with nice weather. So relaxing. Love it. Great uplifting and relaxing weekend.
Been having BAD allergies this week. It's that time of year. I have never bought medication because it only lasts a week and then goes away and I have never really known what allergy medicine to buy. But why be miserable for a week if you don't have to? My co-worker Cassie gave me a pill called Allertec and it was a miracle pill. My allergies stopped right away and didn't come back... until the next day when it was just a tiny bit and that was all. I'm sold. I need to go to Costco and buy some to have on hand when I do get allergies twice a year.
Had to take my car in for a recall. I'm still not exactly sure what they did... but better safe than sorry. My windshield wipers were crap too, so while they were working on the car, I just had them fix that as well. No biggie. It didn't take long and it was a nice experience. It's amazing how going to a car dealership is such a better experience when you aren't trying to buy a car. :)
Went to dinner and a movie with Amber on Saturday. I had a little bit of a depressing week from spending so much time by myself and having a heavy work load. So went and saw "Hello, my name is Doris". Sally Field was the lead and played an awkward older single lady who was a hoarder and falls in love with a younger man (who just looks at her as a friend). It is awkward and hilarious and I laughed probably more than anyone else in the theater. Which is what I needed. We had both never heard of this movie though and I would probably never watch it again, but I was entertained. As far as shows go that I have been watching. I finished watching "The People vs. OJ Simpson" which just made me mad that he got away with murder and the Jury was so blinded by his fame. I am all caught up on "When Calls the Heart" which yes, I have to stay current by watching on Couch Tuner. Then I started watching Ally McBeal... it's ok so far. It's kind of a quirky show. She is a weird character. We will see how much of it I watch.
Management has been switched around again and I now have a new boss. We were each individually called in her office so that my previous manager could introduce me and tell my new manager about me and my strengths and weaknesses. I was very impressed how well she knows me in the short amount of time she has been my manager. They are both awesome and fun and my attitude has changed over the last 9 months about being part of this team now. Of course I don't like everyone... but I don't have to either. I have made a few friends and that is never a bad thing. It makes coming to work that much more enjoyable when you enjoy people that you work with. I'm happy that I am comfortable being me at work... and that people like me the way I am.... even though I can be quite sassy sometimes.
I love my cousins. Dave and Heather thought of me while in Hawaii. They took this picture and sent it to me while they were there. How sweet. I felt honored that people think of me when they hammock.
My right ear has been ringing all night. I don't even know why. It's annoying.
On Sunday the power went out in all of Provo and Orem for about 4 hours. Stacey had text me asking about it while I was at my parents house, so I knew what was going on before I got home, but driving home was so creepy. The power was on everywhere up until the street that I turn on to get to my house, everything beyond that was dark and black. It's a big city to have no power... so imagine at night with an entire cities lights out. It was pretty crazy. I got to my house and my roommate had put tea candles on little plates all over the kitchen and living room so we could see. In the basement... thankfully I have candles in every room anyway... because I like candles, so I just lite all of them. I don't do that very often. I was surprised how much that lit up the basement. It was kind of fun. It was quite, no distractions, low lighting. To pass the time I practiced my guitar. Perfect time to do it. My ward had an entire conversation about it on facebook and everyone was making jokes. Everyone had nothing else to do. Amazing how the power going out leaves you with not much to do... at night anyway, During the day, who cares, I would rather be outside anyway, but at night... Most of my projects are on the computer. My laptop has battery so I could have still been on my computer except with no power, there is no internet. Oh well. I thought it was pretty fun.
I got my Ukulele in the mail this week. I just need to tune it and look up some songs online and learn the chords and I am in business. I'm excited. It's a very summertime instrument.
I took my huge pile of crap to DI this week. That felt good. I'm sure there is still more I can get rid of. I just haven't gone though everything yet. For the basement I have bought a new coffee table and side table/shelf.... now I have bought a new bookshelf with my other Amazon gift card... so when that comes, maybe I will go through my books next.
My visiting teachers don't really come, but they dropped by cookies. I shouldn't have eaten them, but I did... oh well. I also got sucked into buying Girls Scout cookies this year.... there are a few boxes just sitting in my pantry, unopened. They have been there for a couple of weeks. Good will power on my part right? Also, I'm not sure why everyone spells my name with an e... but they do.
I drove up to Salt Lake yesterday to get my lashes filled. I hate driving up to Salt Lake after work. Work traffic is so stupid. I can understand the traffic from construction going on... but I almost got in an accident because someone just slammed on their breaks when we were all going pretty fast on the freeway. They probably just weren't paying attention... so I was SO close to running into them and the person behind me was SO close to running into me. It was close enough to scare me and then piss me off. There was no reason for it. Ugh.
Still working out, still dieting. I am getting to comfortable with eating treats... so I need to work on that, but I did lose another 3 lbs. So I guess that is 3 lbs closer to my goal weight. I guess I should be happy as long as I am not gaining, but I know I have so far to go that I want it to come off FAST! Ha ha. I am joining the 10,000 step challenge at work next week, so I will do the gym on my lunch break and then walk/jog after work every day. Hopefully this will help me lose some more weight. Hopefully it will help me get in a good habit after the challenge is over too. More walking would be really good for me since I have a desk job. And just prepare me to be in better shape for summer hiking.
General Conference was so great. It was especially great because I had no problem streaming AT ALL this time. I soaked it all in. The closing talk by Elder Holland was amazing. Best closing talk. In between sessions on Sunday I hammocked at the park in the sunshine. It felt SO great and I plan to do a lot more of that with nice weather. So relaxing. Love it. Great uplifting and relaxing weekend.
Been having BAD allergies this week. It's that time of year. I have never bought medication because it only lasts a week and then goes away and I have never really known what allergy medicine to buy. But why be miserable for a week if you don't have to? My co-worker Cassie gave me a pill called Allertec and it was a miracle pill. My allergies stopped right away and didn't come back... until the next day when it was just a tiny bit and that was all. I'm sold. I need to go to Costco and buy some to have on hand when I do get allergies twice a year.
Had to take my car in for a recall. I'm still not exactly sure what they did... but better safe than sorry. My windshield wipers were crap too, so while they were working on the car, I just had them fix that as well. No biggie. It didn't take long and it was a nice experience. It's amazing how going to a car dealership is such a better experience when you aren't trying to buy a car. :)
Went to dinner and a movie with Amber on Saturday. I had a little bit of a depressing week from spending so much time by myself and having a heavy work load. So went and saw "Hello, my name is Doris". Sally Field was the lead and played an awkward older single lady who was a hoarder and falls in love with a younger man (who just looks at her as a friend). It is awkward and hilarious and I laughed probably more than anyone else in the theater. Which is what I needed. We had both never heard of this movie though and I would probably never watch it again, but I was entertained. As far as shows go that I have been watching. I finished watching "The People vs. OJ Simpson" which just made me mad that he got away with murder and the Jury was so blinded by his fame. I am all caught up on "When Calls the Heart" which yes, I have to stay current by watching on Couch Tuner. Then I started watching Ally McBeal... it's ok so far. It's kind of a quirky show. She is a weird character. We will see how much of it I watch.
Management has been switched around again and I now have a new boss. We were each individually called in her office so that my previous manager could introduce me and tell my new manager about me and my strengths and weaknesses. I was very impressed how well she knows me in the short amount of time she has been my manager. They are both awesome and fun and my attitude has changed over the last 9 months about being part of this team now. Of course I don't like everyone... but I don't have to either. I have made a few friends and that is never a bad thing. It makes coming to work that much more enjoyable when you enjoy people that you work with. I'm happy that I am comfortable being me at work... and that people like me the way I am.... even though I can be quite sassy sometimes.
I love my cousins. Dave and Heather thought of me while in Hawaii. They took this picture and sent it to me while they were there. How sweet. I felt honored that people think of me when they hammock.
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Mr. Mystery
I go through phases with being active on Tinder. I'm in a semi-active phase.
It started with a right swipe. We matched. Typically I don't write to guys first... not because I'm a snob, but usually guys don't talk unless they talk to you first... or at least not for very long. So most of my matches, I have never talked to. Sad I know, but a lot of people use it as a self esteem boost. Anyway, this guy was cute and I happened to be a little bored so I decided to say hi.
That hi turned into a short conversation getting to know each other a little bit. He asked me what I was doing that night. I told him I was about to go to the lake to watch the sunset. My friend was going to meet me there. I didn't tell him that though. Soon, he is telling me that he is going to the lake to watch the sunset too and that we should meet. But then he kept telling me how nervous he was to meet me. That is kind of cute right? I told him I was with my friend, but when my friend left, I would be happy to meet up with him.
He agreed but then chickened out. He left the lake by the time my friend left. He said he would meet me somewhere else. I mentioned a few places. We finally decided to meet at Slate Canyon Park. I gave him directions there and waited for him. He told me he drove up but didn't see me, but I never saw him. Then he told me he had to go help his dad and wanted to meet up with me later that night. I agreed.... but I didn't hear from him again until I had given up and gone to bed.
I was a little disappointed... just because he was cute and I enjoy meeting new people... but I never put too much stalk into meeting people from Tinder. They rarely lead to anything. I thought it would be fun to meet up and have a fun conversation though.
From that day on, we continued chatting back and forth on Tinder. Started asking each other get to know each other questions and learning more about each other. In fact... I know more about this guy (or I think I do) than I have about any guy since my last boyfriend... which took months to get to know this much. We are so much alike. We think similarly, we act similarly in situations, we want the same things.... I keep waiting for him to say something that I really disagree with every time I bring up a new topic, but so far, he hasn't. Too good to be true? It just might be.
This has been going on for a few weeks now. We still haven't met and he has never even asked me for my phone number... which is not normal. After talking for a certain amount of time, most guys want to move it off of Tinder and just start texting. I have suggested it, but he tells me that his ex girlfriend of 6 years still has his passwords and access to see his text messages and wants to protect me from her. And now he doesn't want to meet until he is really ready because he already feels attached to me and doesn't want to ruin it by me getting involved in his "mess". What is his mess? He tells me he is living with his Grandma and taking care of her full time until she passes, whenever that happens. He told me he also has medical issues himself.
So... do I find it a little fishy that we haven't met and he won't text me and he has an excuse for everything? Absolutely.
So far I have only told my friend Amber about this guy because she was the one with me at the lake when I was going to meet up with him that first night we started chatting. As far as I'm concerned... there is nothing to tell until you actually meet the person and go out more than once. Which hasn't happened. Therefore, nothing to tell. She is convinced that he is married and that is why he won't meet me and that is why he has all the excuses.
That is a possibility. Or, maybe he is just messing with me, making up stories and chatting for his own amusement with no intention of ever meeting.
Or he is not who he says he is and he is afraid to meet because I will find out the truth.
Maybe that ex girlfriend isn't an ex... maybe they are still dating and he is bored so he is having a little fun on the side.
Or he is telling the truth, which would make him even more great because he is taking care of his grandma and we really do have everything in common and could potentially be a great match but he is new to online dating because he was in a relationship for 6 years and so the whole online thing is still new and scary for him.
What do you think? Too fishy? Too good to be true? Is he telling the truth? Or could there be another excuse of why he won't meet me or text me?
It's been almost a month of chatting... and it's still a mystery to me.
It started with a right swipe. We matched. Typically I don't write to guys first... not because I'm a snob, but usually guys don't talk unless they talk to you first... or at least not for very long. So most of my matches, I have never talked to. Sad I know, but a lot of people use it as a self esteem boost. Anyway, this guy was cute and I happened to be a little bored so I decided to say hi.
That hi turned into a short conversation getting to know each other a little bit. He asked me what I was doing that night. I told him I was about to go to the lake to watch the sunset. My friend was going to meet me there. I didn't tell him that though. Soon, he is telling me that he is going to the lake to watch the sunset too and that we should meet. But then he kept telling me how nervous he was to meet me. That is kind of cute right? I told him I was with my friend, but when my friend left, I would be happy to meet up with him.
He agreed but then chickened out. He left the lake by the time my friend left. He said he would meet me somewhere else. I mentioned a few places. We finally decided to meet at Slate Canyon Park. I gave him directions there and waited for him. He told me he drove up but didn't see me, but I never saw him. Then he told me he had to go help his dad and wanted to meet up with me later that night. I agreed.... but I didn't hear from him again until I had given up and gone to bed.
I was a little disappointed... just because he was cute and I enjoy meeting new people... but I never put too much stalk into meeting people from Tinder. They rarely lead to anything. I thought it would be fun to meet up and have a fun conversation though.
From that day on, we continued chatting back and forth on Tinder. Started asking each other get to know each other questions and learning more about each other. In fact... I know more about this guy (or I think I do) than I have about any guy since my last boyfriend... which took months to get to know this much. We are so much alike. We think similarly, we act similarly in situations, we want the same things.... I keep waiting for him to say something that I really disagree with every time I bring up a new topic, but so far, he hasn't. Too good to be true? It just might be.
This has been going on for a few weeks now. We still haven't met and he has never even asked me for my phone number... which is not normal. After talking for a certain amount of time, most guys want to move it off of Tinder and just start texting. I have suggested it, but he tells me that his ex girlfriend of 6 years still has his passwords and access to see his text messages and wants to protect me from her. And now he doesn't want to meet until he is really ready because he already feels attached to me and doesn't want to ruin it by me getting involved in his "mess". What is his mess? He tells me he is living with his Grandma and taking care of her full time until she passes, whenever that happens. He told me he also has medical issues himself.
So... do I find it a little fishy that we haven't met and he won't text me and he has an excuse for everything? Absolutely.
So far I have only told my friend Amber about this guy because she was the one with me at the lake when I was going to meet up with him that first night we started chatting. As far as I'm concerned... there is nothing to tell until you actually meet the person and go out more than once. Which hasn't happened. Therefore, nothing to tell. She is convinced that he is married and that is why he won't meet me and that is why he has all the excuses.
That is a possibility. Or, maybe he is just messing with me, making up stories and chatting for his own amusement with no intention of ever meeting.
Or he is not who he says he is and he is afraid to meet because I will find out the truth.
Maybe that ex girlfriend isn't an ex... maybe they are still dating and he is bored so he is having a little fun on the side.
Or he is telling the truth, which would make him even more great because he is taking care of his grandma and we really do have everything in common and could potentially be a great match but he is new to online dating because he was in a relationship for 6 years and so the whole online thing is still new and scary for him.
What do you think? Too fishy? Too good to be true? Is he telling the truth? Or could there be another excuse of why he won't meet me or text me?
It's been almost a month of chatting... and it's still a mystery to me.
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