Mr. Controlling

Online dating is such a gamble. My last boyfriend came from online and it was maybe the best relationship I have had. On the other hand... I have had a lot of weird/bad/awkward/annoying experiences with online dating as well.

Take Mr. Controlling for example. This is a recent guy that found me online. It started off so positive with him. This was his first message to me.

I would do battle with a pack of wild mountain lions, inside of a handicapped stall at a local McDonald's with my hands zip tied behind my back, and a shake weight super glued to my forehead as my only weapon... just to be able to have the change to take you out to a spaghetti dinner


I was obviously flattered. What girls doesn't want to see a guy go to great lengths to go out with her? Also, I like a guy with a good sense of humor. So I gave him my number.


He text me that night. It was late... almost midnight. He asked me if I was still up, and I said I was, but was just about to go on a walk with a friend. He asked me if it was a guy friend. I said yes and asked why. He replies because it's late. Take it easy. I responded that I could be going on a walk with a guy or girl friend this late and it wouldn't matter. He just didn't acknowledge what I said and told me goodnight.

From this first conversation, I should have seen the red flag. I mean... I did kind of, but I like to give people a second chance in case I am wrong. I know that I am wrong about people sometimes. So the next day we continued to text each other.

Mr. Controlling - So how was the walk at 12am with your "friend" lmao (laughing my a** off)

Me - It was fine. We talked, I went home

Mr. Controlling - I wouldn't call you a friend. Or any girl for that matter. lol

Me - What would you call me?

Mr. Controlling - A girl I am looking into, why would anyone go on a dating site for friends? That's the weirdest thing.

Me - The guy I said hi to last night was a friend in town who happens to be a guy.

Mr. Controlling - I know what I want and friends is not it. Plus men and women can't be "just friends" unless one is gay. Or unless it's for a friend's significant other.

Me - You really believe that? I have lots of guys that are just friends that I have no interest in.

Mr. Controlling - I run like hell. You know right now you can do whatever you want, but if you wanted me exclusively, I wouldn't give you the time of day. I have a lot to bring to the table and guy friends isn't a quality I'm looking for in a woman. It's inappropriate, women are OK with their man having girl friends provided she looks like a whale. If she's hot the games no longer fun. Say it out loud it it sounds wrong it probably wrong. "Where's your guy at? Oh he's off with another woman" I don't care about the word trust, it's used and abused and expected far to early. I care about respect that's neglected due to the word trust. Relationships and marriages both end because of friends of the opposite sex. So if you would rather have a guy friend over a relationship you should probably go ask that friend on a date... but like I said as of now, you are a free woman.

Me - Yes I am a free woman.

Mr. Controlling - If you can show me your worth while, I'll spoil you like a you wouldn't believe.

Me - I think we would have to meet and then decide if we both think the other person is worth while.

Mr. Controlling - I'm taking you out Saturday.

Me - I have plans on Saturday

Mr Controlling - Do you have another date?

Me - No.

Mr Controlling - What are you doing?

Me - Hiking and camping with friends.

Mr Controlling - Are there are any guys going?

Me - I don't know.

Mr. Controlling - What if you meet a guy on this trip before we meet?

Me - I doubt that will happen.

Mr. Controlling - Well, I don't know how many guys you are talking to right now, but if you want a shot with me, you have to promise that you won't go out with anyone else before you go out with me. I'm not wasting time and you have a week to figure it out.... and by figure it out, I mean see me.

Me - OK

Mr Controlling - OK is all I'm getting? I want to know if you are going to see me or not. Are the other guys you are talking to getting dates?

He continued to lecture me. Tell me that I needed to know if I wanted to be in a relationship with him before we even met because since he lives in Idaho we would be spending a lot of time talking on the phone (which I don't love) He then told me I was going to fall in love with him pretty quick. Told me the things he wanted sexually in a relationship and when I told him I was LDS told me that he wanted a temple marriage... which is why I should want him even more.Then went back to threatening me that if I went out with another guy before him that he didn't do second chances and I would regret that. Then went back to texting me inappropriate stuff and I said I was checking out. He told me to text him later and I didn't reply.

Mr. Controlling - Good conversation last night.

Me - Sarcasm?

Mr. Controlling - In it's finest form.

Me - Sorry (not sorry)

Mr. Controlling - Next time don't tell me you'll do something. If we were not going to talk, I wouldn't have waited up. Were you texting the other guys last night?

Me - OMG... no. Also I never said I would text you last night, you just asked me to.

I continued to get a lecture from him. I wasn't even writing him back and he would just keep going. I then ignored his text all weekend because I was done with this dude. The red flags were not only seen, they were slapping me in the face.

Mr. Controlling - Are you still interested in me?

Me - Honestly... I feel like we have spent more time disagreeing with each other than having fun getting to know each other, so I have lost interest. I don't feel like it's worth us meeting...  especially with you living so far away.

Then he said best of luck to me and I wished him luck back and I thought it was finally all over. Then he had to be a child and throw in that it was my loss... because the man obviously is insecure (if you haven't picked up on that from his conversation) and can't take rejection. Then he tried to convince me that I should give him another shot and he would promise to make it more fun.... because despite the fact that the entire time we have been talking he has been lecturing me on what I can and can't do and we have been disagreeing on everything.... we are apparently a great fit for each other according to him. After this I blew him off and he went away... for a week. Then he text again.

Mr. Controlling - Find your guy yet?

Me - Nope. Haven't even been on a date.

Mr. Controlling - Why not?

Me - Just been busy. How about you?

Mr. Controlling - I've gone out, but nothing special.

Me - Sorry. (I don't know what else to say)

Mr. Controlling - I honestly don't care. My life is amazing.

Me - That's great. Life should be amazing.

Mr. Controlling - How are those guy friends anyway? That's probably the one thing keeping me from wanting you.

Me - All of my friends are great. I value friendships a lot.

Mr. Controlling - Well I wish you the best. I want nothing to do with that mess.

Me - Thanks :)  (I wasn't about to get into another disagreement with him or make him think that I care what he thinks because I don't)

Mr. Controlling - You missed out on this (sent me a picture of his junk... which I deleted right away)

I didn't respond. Hopefully I will never hear from him again. If I do, I'll block his number. I know I shouldn't have stopped responding to him a long time ago.... that part is my fault... but holy crap, I had never had a guy talk to me like this before. I can see why his first marriage didn't work out. I felt like I was in a manipulative and controlling and abusive relationship when I wasn't even in it... we hadn't even met! Scary that people can be like this. Yikes!