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A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel

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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Confessions of a Brunette on the Internet 16

I Choose Happiness!

This past weekend was so good for my soul! Sunshine, home, food, friends and family. I was so happy, it was amazing. Thinking of this same weekend a year ago, it could have made me feel depressed. Instead... I wanted to create new and better memories that would make me happy. I love being happy.

My good friend came over last night and we got into a discussion. We both went through very similar dating situations... well, she was not lied to and cheated on (like me), but other than that, they are really similar. I told her that after a few months of being depressed about what happened and crying about it, I decided I wanted to be happy again. He was a great guy in a lot of ways and had a lot of great things about him and the beginning of our relationship was wonderful, but it wasn't worth crying over. I deserve someone that will love me for EXACTLY who I am and what I have to offer and accept my flaws. I happen to like who I am, so if a guy can't accept that... then I deserve someone that does. I would rather be single then in a relationship where someone doesn't appreciate me or accept me for who I am. I would rather hold out longer for a marriage that is going to be really great than settle for one that isn't, just to get married.

I am single, and I am happy. Of course I would rather be happily married and to start a family, but obviously it is not my time yet. The reason I am talking about this is because when my friend and I were talking last night, I guess there are a lot of people in our area that are very depressed because they are not married. Don't get me wrong... I still get discouraged about this too from time to time, but I will not let myself get depressed over it. I choose to be happy.

I learned a great lesson of individual worth while I was going through high school. I had to learn the hard way that I did not need other people in order to make me happy. That choice is mine. That applies to friends AND relationships. What do I do to get myself out of the funk? At the start of 2010 I set goals for myself. I was going to be social, even when I didn't feel like it. I was going to travel, because that makes me happy and gives me a sense of adventure. I was going to serve weekly, that is when I started tutoring. I wanted to lose more weight, to feel better about myself, I did the HCG & lost 18 pounds. I wanted to go through the temple, I was growing a lot spiritually and was ready for that step. I wanted to give myself lots of projects (crafts, recipes, etc..), so that I felt a sense of accomplishment. The list goes on. And look at that! There is so much more purpose to life than having some BFF's or a significant other! (it's great to have it all, but sometimes you don't)

I have learned from my own experiences and the experiences of others. You can't depend on someone else or an event to make you happy. Sometimes people think they would be happy if only they got married, you may be disappointed... sometimes marriage is really hard and people are still not happy. Sometimes people think they would be happy if they could just have a baby, but sometimes those babies are really hard and you are still not happy... because you don't have a life anymore. Sometimes people think they would be happy if they could only be married to someone else, or if they just had more money, THEN they would be happy. Guess what? No matter what your going through, there is always going to be some type of trial for you. It is YOUR choice to make the best of it, and to be happy.

I would love to get married. I think it is a trial to wait. In the meantime.... life is great and has SO much to offer. I am happy and having a lot of fun until its my time to get married. I don't want to waste my life on being sad over things I can't control. I want to spend it becoming a better person, developing new talents, helping others and many other good things.

I Choose Happiness!

P.S. It would be nice if we could all start our day feeling this good huh?

13 comments:

Caytlin said...

Thanks for sharing. We've had some tough stuff happening lately and I've been trying to live by the same philosophy. One of my friends told me that life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. So dance we will!!

mjfin22 said...

I love this post. It is so true! Life is suppose to be hard because it is what we do in the hard times that really shows who we are! You are obviously phenomenal!

Bethany and Shanam said...

You go girl!! :) You're such a great example to so many people!

Lauren Graff said...

Tracy, I am seriously inspired by your posts--all the time. You are such a good person. Yes, you deserve to be happy! Everyone does. And I totally agree, happiness is a choice! You inspire me! :)

William said...

Tracy, you have the best attitude ever and you could be a motivational speaker at a singles activity :) I just love you and think you are amazing. - Lori

Nicole said...

You go girl! And that little girl is adorable!

Lynette Mills said...

It's always a delight to read your confessions Tracy.. you make me a proud mom.

Jessica said...

You are awesome! Thanks for your post--it was a good reminder of getting through trials cheerfully, because you're right: happiness won't come just because a situation changes. We have to be happy now. Thanks for the reminder!

THE LIZARD'S said...

wow..such beautiful pictures of your sb trip! love all of them! You look cute in your suit too! oh, and this post is so cool.. i love how you are like. i am working on all of my goals and you know you have accomplished SO MUCH and that is just recently.. You have done and worked on alot and that is cool.. I have to do that even for when I am married with kids too..like trying to run a marathon or starting my business..stuff like that.. reminds you of how great the possiblities of life are!

jamie hixon said...

YOU ARE MY HERO!!
I'm trying to set goals and get more motivated to accomplish things. You are a FANTASTIC role model for that.

Abby Wright said...

You are amazing! Possitive thinking is what makes the world move smothly. Free Agency is the most beautiful gift we can have. And chosing to be Happy is worth every minute! Possitive thoughts your way always!

politicchic6 said...

Bravo! It is a good attitude to have.

Kayleigh said...

OMG, that video is too cute!