A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Monday, May 2, 2011


Recently I have experienced a lot of change. I realize that change is a big part of life. Change is necessary. There are different types of change though. There is good change and bad change. Although no matter what happens in life, I think we need to take it for what it is and learn from it and have a good attitude about it... but sometimes that is really hard. I guess what I am referring to is the change that happens by choice because you want to move on to bigger and better things vs the change that you didn't choose that was forced upon you because of others decisions.

Last year this time my stake changed its entire boundaries. A lot of people had a hard time with this... I was excited for it and thought it was a good thing. However... I still feel like it took us a year to adjust to that change and now... it changed again. A lot of new people. A lot of people not wanting the change. I was a little sad about it... but at this point I am not that attached to singles wards and people in them. Sad, but true.  I just go with the flow with what is in front of me. Its not always fun and easy... but it is what it is.  This was a pretty big change, but I feel it was inspired and I was okay with it and am hoping for the best. However today I was having a harder time with another change...

Today was probably the worst Monday ever. A few different times I have talked about my work and the merger that was going on. It has been dragged out for almost a year. A year of people on the edge of their seat wondering what was going to happen and if they were going to keep their job once the new company signed and took over Novell. When I got back from my trip they had officially signed and took over and the first people to go were the top management. It was kind of sad... but at the same time they knew they were going as soon as the papers were signed and it was final. They had time to look for new jobs. I knew there would be more lay off's... I just didn't know how many. We figured they would wait until after quarter end, which they did. Today was the execution date. I came into work today and there was a different feeling in the air. I could tell something was happening.

About a half hour after I got there or so, my boss came into my office and shut the door. Time for bad news. I was safe, as I thought I most likely would be... but as tears filled my boss's eyes, he told me not everyone on our team was so lucky. Out of the 11 people on our team, 3 people were let go. When he told me who I was in shock and didn't know what to say. The ones that were let go were good sports of course. The whole morning was spent talking to each other in disbelief and people saying goodbye. The 3 on my team were not the only ones to be let go today. World Wide there was close to 800 that were laid off. Lots of people that I correspond with via email were gone, 40% of the legal group was gone, most of pricing (the ones we do the brisket pot luck with) were gone. It was VERY depressing. Even though I made the cut... I almost wanted to throw in the towel myself and not come back. It just wasn't fair. Why them? On another note... it was finally over. No more waiting and wondering.

For those of you who read my blog regularly you know I am very close with my co-workers. Some people find it strange because there is such an age gap between me and the rest of the group. Its true though, we are a very tight group. We have so much fun together. Knowing for a while that at least one person would be leaving the team just broke my heart. I couldn't choose one person that I wouldn't miss if they left. We had a meeting with a manager with the new company and she could tell we were all really down so she told us to all go home early. I had held myself together pretty well most of the day, but when I was leaving for the day and had to hug Paul and Les goodbye knowing that I would leave and when I came back the next day their offices would be empty and they would be gone, I started to cry. They probably thought it was silly because I have hardly worked with them compared the others. I have only worked with them 2 + years... the rest have been working together 6 + years, but I honestly really care about these guys. It was so hard to say goodbye.

I guess that is what I mean about the good change vs bad change. Had they been leaving because they had better jobs lined up and we were throwing them a party... it would have not been such a sad occasion. Leaving this way is just depressing.

Laura is the other one that got let go. She is the one that was just here visiting and brought me the Maple Syrup from Vermont. She works from home there. I'm glad she came so I could see her one last time and say goodbye. I didn't get to know her as well because she was on the other side of the country... but I supported her area and we had many opportunities to chat on the phone and online as we worked together. She is such a genuine and sweet person that brought a lot of humor to the team. Especially at Quarter End where she would usually start a work related Haiku that would start a long chain of Haiku's from the rest of the group.

Les and I had so many great chats. He is also a very genuine and sweet person. He always complimented my hats and scarves and told me I reminded him of the little boy from mr. magorium's wonder emporium because of all of the hats I wore. He used to be a Bishop so he was always concerned with how I was doing. When I went through my broken engagement, he had many chats with me about relationship's and marriage and was really sympathetic and caring and gave me a lot of wise advice. He truly cared and I truly appreciated it.

Paul was the health nut of the group. The one person that had the will power to not eat any of the bazillions of treats that we always have. He does Sprint Triathlons for fun at the last minute and does it in like a half hour. He will ride his bike to work and is just in the most amazing shape. He even got some of the other guys to work out with him on their lunch break. He talked to me a lot and prepped me for when I did my Sprint Triathlon. He was also the mellow one of the group, very laid back and so positive about everything and everyone. I think he is the main reason why our department is the way it is. He makes sure we are positive and supportive and there for each other... that we have each other's backs. Makes sure everyone is invited and feels included. He is the one all of the negotiators would go to for answers because he is the most organized guy that I know.  Paul brought a lot of humor to our meetings. Both Les and Paul and all of the guys in the group are great husbands and fathers and good examples to me and everyone around them.

I am REALLY going to miss them. I feel like our team will not be the same without them. It makes me sad to even think about this right now. However, I also believe that things happen for a reason. Just like when I was laid off from Apx, I was so mad and hurt but right after that I got my job at Novell which has been so great for me for so many different reasons. Getting laid off ended up being a blessing. I hope the same thing holds true for them. I wish them the best. They were very appreciated in our department and I know I speak for everyone when I say they will be missed. Doing a tribute to them on my blog is the best way I know how to let people know I appreciate them. Good luck and farewell.


Kelli said...

sorry to hear this Trace. it's rare to be so close w/ your co-workers. I hope the merger does not continue to be a source of madness in your life.

Lori said...

How sad. I wish and pray for the best for those guys, gotta be scary when they are supporting a family!! Bummer.

Lynette Mills said...

very nice tribute Tracy... I hope they read it

THE LIZARD'S said...

This is very sad! I hope they find jobs quickly and that there is something even better for them around the corner.