A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Saturday, April 12, 2014

Thou Shalt Not Flake

Time for a little venting session.

One of my biggest pet peeves has always been people that are flakey. I hate making plans for things and then getting really excited about it (as I always do) and then getting let down at the last minute. My friend Monica and I planned a trip to Moab and invited a bunch of people and everyone flaked out... we were so annoyed, this is when we decided that the eleventh commandment should be Though Shalt Not Flake. I have referred to it ever since.

It has happened to me so many times.... I should be used to it, it shouldn't bother me so much. Why am I venting about it now? Well... I got double flaked on this weekend so I am VERY irritated.

Flake number 1. A guy that I have not seen in about a year and haven't even heard from in a while texts me Thursday night telling me he is in town and would like to see me. I tell him it would be fun to see him and that I could Friday night after hanging out with my friend. I told him that was the only time I could because I had another friend coming into town the next day that I had planned to hang out with. He says ok, he would be with family and then we could hang out after that. Friday night.... I wait to hear from him. I don't. I sit at home a lone waiting when I could have made other plans. This morning he texts me and says he is sorry and that he thought I didn't sound like I really wanted to get together. REALLY? That is why I told you I was excited to see you and told you when I was free and made plans for that.

Flake number 2. Also a friend from out of town. He was in town last weekend as well, but I was out of town most of the weekend and he was in Salt Lake the entire time so he told me it would be easier and he would have more time if we hung out the next weekend (this weekend). He was coming back. He asked me if I had plans... I said not yet and he told me not to make any because we were going to hang out. So... I didn't. All day today I didn't hear from him. I wondered if he was still coming. Should I make other plans? I text him to find out. He was driving, on his way. I go about my day cleaning and being productive. I get a text from him around 6:30 asking me what I was up to. I had just gotten out of the shower. He told me he was in Salt Lake and he and his brother were going to see a movie and told me I could come if I wanted. I thought he was coming to Provo and was going to hang out with me... guess not. Even if I wanted to go to the movie, there was no way I could get ready and eat dinner and drive up to Salt Lake and be there in time for the movie... which is what I told him. He said we would get together after the movie. So I get ready and I wait.... and wait.... at 11 he text me and said... well the movie was long and now it's late. Sorry we suck at getting together. Umm... no. YOU suck at getting together. I was ready both weekend's to get together.

Here's my thing. Just be real with me. If you are not going to make the effort to make plans happen with me, don't make the plans. I am a woman of my word. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. If I don't think I will or don't know if I will, I don't commit. Simple as that. Why is that so hard for people.  Don't tell me... hey, I'm in town let's get together and then don't text me the day we were supposed to get together. Don't say, hey, don't make plans because we are doing something... and then go do something with someone else instead. Frankly it's rude. Maybe people don't look at it that way, other things came up. I get that emergencies happen, and I feel those are excusable, but both of these were not the case. So why is it rude? Because while you just went off and did something else that came up, I was sitting at home waiting when I could have been doing something else with someone else. When people flake on me, to means it means they don't really care about me or my time or my feelings. To me it says... opps, it would have been cool to hang out with you I guess but you're not really a priority.

So where does that leave me this weekend? Kind of mad. Mad because not only did I get flaked out on once, but twice. Two people that I had not seen in a long time and was kind of excited to see. Mad because it was a weekend of me sitting at home by myself waiting on people that bailed on me last minute instead of doing something fun with other people. It also makes me hate men (just temporarily) because of all the ways they continue to disappoint me. I will get over that because I know not all men are like this.

I'm sure this will not be the last time I get irritated and disappointed by flaky people... I don't think the more it happens the less I will get annoyed or get used to it or ever think it is acceptable. When I get irritated, I blog it out. It makes me feel better. Now that I have blogged it out... I will sleep it off. I will feel better in the morning. If/when these guys come around again.... I will be nice, but I won't be putting them as a priority. THAT you can count on.


Kristy said...

Sorry Tracy. That stinks.

jamie hixon said...

That is a good commandment, but it is basically a variation of "do unto others..."- I think it is a similar sin with people who text their friends constantly while they are with you. It is just showing you that they don't really want to be with you. Rude. Actions speak pretty loudly, people. Don't be that guy.

Kayleigh said...

This is also one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Not just with guys, but with people in general. When I was single it would happen to me all the time and it absolutely drives me nuts. It was as if I was their "B" plan, even though they didn't have an "A" plan, but if something better came along I got ditched. So freaking annoying! I totally feel your pain and I can't imagine how frustrated you still feel.