Mr. Internet Part 3

I have gotten some interesting emails lately, so I thought I would share, like I have in the past.

Never a dull moment with online dating websites. Ok, here we go...

#1 - "Hey Girly, I'm Andy. Just a good boy with a naughty side. Just lookin for some fun, wanna play?"

#2 - "IM going to steal your random red chair in the middle of no where pic"

#3 - "How are you?.

First of all, I want to thank heavenly father because I was able to find you today.

Hmmm, besides being terrible at pick up lines,
I am also formal, and wild per needed as all good leading movie characters. I work, no vices, I am not crazy, and I can twist the harm of any authority to get a good recommend, -last one was a half joke-. I believe in finding my half orange and I think I will be grateful if such a thing is possible, it would be like a blessing I do not deserve, but who deserves any thing at all?.

I do not want to write a treatise, but hey, help me out a little bit.

Me "

#4 - "Just sending an awkward howdy doo"

#5 - "Hey you !!! why you don't answered me, do I am too hot for you so that's why you got scared of me..... Or something I just want to be your friend for now, I'm a real man though, I don't know what are you looking for, don't be shy send me a message, I'm a really nice guy..........!!!  "

#6 - "Well, I don't really know where to start, but, I guess if I were to begin anywhere. I'm currently a Humanities major with a minor in music, I'm learning to play the cello, and piano. Also... I've snuck into a construction site with some friends and played ninja on the roof where we hid from cars and people that weren't even looking for us. I know I know I'm awesome. Try and contain yourself! "

#7 - "Do you collect action heroes?"

#8 - "So I'm thinking about Friday... Can I have your number?"

#9 - "well, i hope youre having alot of success at catching those new boys...your inbox should have been overflowing with the potato chip duck lips, but maybe you were attracting the wrong brothers that way. i do like your new picture too though...you are very very very...i dunno, uhm...great. you are just great!! kidding...you are very attractive, i dont want to sound like a stalker but i have looked through your pics more than once. anyway...im blushing and, i gotta go. write me anytime."

I could put many more on here, but I will end with this...

#10 - This one I will tell a Tinder story... since Tinder is just another form of online dating. I was talking with this guy. His profile picture is of him with his shirt off... taking a picture of himself in the bathroom mirror (the classic). Typically there are stereotypes that go along with this type of dude. I ask him what he does for a living. He says he builds and market's websites... and breeds teacup pigs. I'm like... say what? You breed pigs? Then he sends me this super girly website in which he sells teacup pigs. Turns out they are wicked expensive. I asked him how he got into that.... expecting him to say it was a family business or something. He says... "because I thought they were cute". So much for the macho guy with his shirt off in the mirror. I was cracking up. I immediately started gchatting with Megan, since we were both at work and sent her the link. We decided we wanted to go in together to buy a teacup pig and we would have joint custody of it after she moves. The guy said he would get me a deal. I asked him if I married him if he came with a pig. His response... "some girls marry for money, some for teacup pigs".