This week has been busy as usual. Had the normal week activities of work, church, FHE, Institute. Went to karaoke again and this time doubled the amount of people that went which I will blog about later and I am getting ready for a much needed trip.
I am a true blue. I'm sensitive and am always worried about other people's feelings and how people view me, most people that know me, know this. I am constantly having heart to hearts with people. I think it is my own way of getting therapy that I need. I am the type of person that needs to talk things out to feel that I am understood and to resolve my feelings. This week I had a couple of heart to hearts that helped me see things in a new light....
The first one was with a good friend of mine that I also may be interested in. After karaoke he gave me a ride home and we decided that it was a nice night and wanted to go sit on a blanket at the park and look at the stars. We had a nice chat. I like talking with him for many reasons, one of which is because he is a therapist and has great insight on situations. Something that he helped me understand is that I can't let people walk all over me (I have a tendency to do that) and that I have to set boundaries for myself to attract the type of person that I want and to stop the unhealthy relationships in my life. And in the processes of sticking up for myself and setting boundaries, not everyone is going to be happy with it, especially the unhealthy relationships in my life and I need to be okay with that and continue to be nice and love everyone but just be okay with the fact that I can't please everyone and that I am okay with where I am at and the people that are not okay with where I am at are not people I want in my life anyway. This is way easier said than done for me because I am the type of person that wants everyone to be happy and not have bad feelings toward me and I would do anything to fix it. Slowly... I am getting there though and learning to let go. I still don't hate anyone and want to be friends with everyone, but have come to realize that people come and go at certain times in your life for a reason as you learn and progress. I am thankful for everyone in my life even if my relationship with that person has faded because they have all meant a lot to me and helped me in some way and I hope that I have helped in some way back.
My other heart to heart I scheduled with a member of my bishopric, Brother Cope. It has been a long time since I have felt close enough to a bishopric that I felt like I could go to them just to chat because I wanted some insight from a leader. My bishopric now is SO awesome. Brother Cope is so awesome. We have really bonded over all our softball games. He went to every game except one. Anyway, he was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with me. We ended up talking for 2 1/2 hours. It was so great and he told me a lot of things that I needed to hear. One of the things he said was that my life is not balanced. I am very heavy in the social department, but I am not taking enough time for myself and for the spiritual. I have known for a while that I needed to work on doing things that I am supposed to, but never came up with a plan. He gave me a few suggestions of how I can improve and he said he is going to check up on me.... which I need. He is so great. I am now working on a plan... but already I feel better. I am not letting things weigh on me as much and not beating myself up over little things that I shouldn't. I am so thankful for everyone that is willing to have heart to hearts with me because I really am inspired by others examples and really take what they say to heart. Thank you to everyone in my life that cares and is really there for me. Even my friends that just check in and say hi and that they are thinking about me. It really does mean a lot.
I don't want anyone to read this and think I am depressed or anything. Sometimes I just have a lot on my mind and am just looking for ways I can improve and be a better person and a better friend. I thrive off of meaningful relationships and I love having fun and goofing off, but I love deep conversation about the meaning of life and how people think and so on and so forth.
Anyway, that has been my week. It has been a very good and insightful week. I need those every once in a while. :) Now I'm off to Idaho and I will blog all about it when I get back.
I am a true blue. I'm sensitive and am always worried about other people's feelings and how people view me, most people that know me, know this. I am constantly having heart to hearts with people. I think it is my own way of getting therapy that I need. I am the type of person that needs to talk things out to feel that I am understood and to resolve my feelings. This week I had a couple of heart to hearts that helped me see things in a new light....
The first one was with a good friend of mine that I also may be interested in. After karaoke he gave me a ride home and we decided that it was a nice night and wanted to go sit on a blanket at the park and look at the stars. We had a nice chat. I like talking with him for many reasons, one of which is because he is a therapist and has great insight on situations. Something that he helped me understand is that I can't let people walk all over me (I have a tendency to do that) and that I have to set boundaries for myself to attract the type of person that I want and to stop the unhealthy relationships in my life. And in the processes of sticking up for myself and setting boundaries, not everyone is going to be happy with it, especially the unhealthy relationships in my life and I need to be okay with that and continue to be nice and love everyone but just be okay with the fact that I can't please everyone and that I am okay with where I am at and the people that are not okay with where I am at are not people I want in my life anyway. This is way easier said than done for me because I am the type of person that wants everyone to be happy and not have bad feelings toward me and I would do anything to fix it. Slowly... I am getting there though and learning to let go. I still don't hate anyone and want to be friends with everyone, but have come to realize that people come and go at certain times in your life for a reason as you learn and progress. I am thankful for everyone in my life even if my relationship with that person has faded because they have all meant a lot to me and helped me in some way and I hope that I have helped in some way back.
My other heart to heart I scheduled with a member of my bishopric, Brother Cope. It has been a long time since I have felt close enough to a bishopric that I felt like I could go to them just to chat because I wanted some insight from a leader. My bishopric now is SO awesome. Brother Cope is so awesome. We have really bonded over all our softball games. He went to every game except one. Anyway, he was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with me. We ended up talking for 2 1/2 hours. It was so great and he told me a lot of things that I needed to hear. One of the things he said was that my life is not balanced. I am very heavy in the social department, but I am not taking enough time for myself and for the spiritual. I have known for a while that I needed to work on doing things that I am supposed to, but never came up with a plan. He gave me a few suggestions of how I can improve and he said he is going to check up on me.... which I need. He is so great. I am now working on a plan... but already I feel better. I am not letting things weigh on me as much and not beating myself up over little things that I shouldn't. I am so thankful for everyone that is willing to have heart to hearts with me because I really am inspired by others examples and really take what they say to heart. Thank you to everyone in my life that cares and is really there for me. Even my friends that just check in and say hi and that they are thinking about me. It really does mean a lot.
I don't want anyone to read this and think I am depressed or anything. Sometimes I just have a lot on my mind and am just looking for ways I can improve and be a better person and a better friend. I thrive off of meaningful relationships and I love having fun and goofing off, but I love deep conversation about the meaning of life and how people think and so on and so forth.
Anyway, that has been my week. It has been a very good and insightful week. I need those every once in a while. :) Now I'm off to Idaho and I will blog all about it when I get back.
2 comments:
This is a good post Tracy. I think it's important to regain perspective. We all have to do that from time to time.
If I had more money, I would see a therapist regularly. I really would. Not that I think I am crazy or anything, I just think that talking about your life and stuff is a good thing to do with someone who is on the outside and is not afraid to tell you what they see. (Not to mention someone who is trained to do so.) Good luck on finding balance, Trace. I think that is something we all struggle with.
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