A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Monday, September 23, 2013

Mr. Body Builder

I have not known many body builders in my life. When I think of body builders, I think of the substitute bus driver in elementary school who passed one of his speedo pictures around the bus for all of the kids to see. I think of fake tans and I think of the really nice guy that talks to me at the gym that I met playing volleyball that loves to talk to me about health and show me his abs and tells me about the body building competitions that he has entered over the years.

Well, now I have a new person to think of when I hear "body builder"...

It started when my roommate Mackenzie and I were at the rooftop concert. We had some time in between bands where we got a little bored. So naturally we both got on Tinder and started swiping. In my choices, we came across a 35 year old who was showing off of his muscles and it was obvious that he was a body builder. Honestly... not my type. However I thought about it. I thought... he looks like he could be nice, and he is kind of cute despite the muscles that are not proportioned to his body. Mackenzie convinced me to swipe yes... so I said why not. I mean, just because I say yes, doesn't mean that he is going to also. Well... he had. We were a match. Soon after he started talking to me. Then added me on facebook and sending me messages. I was unsure about him from the start... but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised right?

Well, when I first got back from Vegas, he invited me over to his house to watch a movie with him. Typically meaning they just want to hook up. Shortly after inviting me over to watch a movie and told him I would think about it... he sent me a picture and then a winky face. Typically I keep these guy posts anonymous and don't show names or pictures, but I HAVE to show this picture...

I blew him off. Told him no. The picture just helped confirm my decision. I mean... do you see his pose? I didn't really feel like it anyway. A few days later I get a text from him calling me a flake. OK... one thing I am NOT is a flake. If I say I am going to do something, I do it. I never committed to anything, therefore, I am not a flake. I asked him what he was talking about.... seemed like kind of a dramatic text to send. More and more things are not going in his favor.

Somehow... he convinced me to come over tonight. So I did. My roommates and I had already been laughing about this guy... I told my roommate Sabrina that I was going to go meet him and maybe I would come back with a good story. Well.... I got one! Ha ha.

I show up at his house and he is short. Which I figured. Then he gives me this long awkward hug and thanks me for the long hug in which I felt I had no control over. I walk into his place and he has music playing... there is a big bouquet of sunflowers on the table and candles lit EVERYWHERE around the apartment. I sat at the table while he got me a drink so that he knew I wasn't going to get comfortable and made it very clear to him that nothing was going to be happening with the two of us while I was there. He claimed that was not the reason he invited me to his house and he got really defensive and said he didn't take rejection well and was just acting weird. Conversation was terrible. He was defensive about everything I said. He wouldn't let me talk and when I did try and talk he was rudely ask me if he could finish first before I talk. I don't think I was even giving him pleasant looks while we were talking. Then he goes to sit on the couch... obviously wanting me to follow. I sat on the other couch. He didn't like that. He gets me to sit on the couch next to him.... With his hand grabbing my leg, he starts telling me about how his dad left when he was little and was abusive to his mom and he grew up wanting to beat up his dad and then his dad came around once he started winning body building competitions. He also mentioned that he has a hard time keeping all of the girls straight because he has been getting "so much action" on the few online sites that he is on. *which makes me wonder why he cared so much that I came over*

This is where things start to get real interesting....

All of the sudden, there is a loud bang on the door. Mr. Body builder just sits there. I suggest that it is okay for him to get the door. He says he isn't expecting anyone, so he is not getting it. They knock again loudly and ring the doorbell and couple of times.
Me - "ummm... maybe you should get it."
 He gets up and walks by the door and asks who it is. It's an officer. He doesn't say anything and then walks back and sits back down on the couch.
Me -  "uh, aren't you going to get that?"
Mr. Body Builder -  "no, I have company over and I don't want to deal with it. There is no business with me, so I don't need to answer the door."
The officer knocks again and rings the doorbell again.
Mr. Body Builder -  yelling "Go away!"
The officer -  also yelling back "I'm not going anywhere until you open the door"
Mr. Body Builder - "Well then you can sit there on my front porch all night for all I care"
The officer - "Will you please just answer the door so I can talk to you?"
Mr. Body Builder - "No, you were very rude with how you knocked on my door"
I sit... speechless and slightly frightened when the officer goes to the back window by where we were sitting and shines the flashlight in the window. Mr. Body builder doesn't go anywhere.
Me - "Are you in some kind of trouble?"
Mr. Body Builder - "No, I'm sure this has to do with my old tenant"
Me - "Well... then don't you think it would just be easier and less awkward for everyone if you just answer the door and tell the officer that so this will all go away?"
Mr. Body Builder - "You know what, this is none of your business and I don't like that you are telling me what to do in my house"
Officer is still knocking at the door and ringing the doorbell.
Me - "Well, I don't think that he is going anywhere anytime soon, so if you are not going to do anything about it, I'm going to go..."
Mr. Body Builder  - "Do you feel uncomfortable?"
Me - "Yes, very much so!" *I was looking for an excuse to leave anyway, so this was perfect*
As I am getting up and grabbing my purse...
Mr. Body Builder - "Ok, I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable. I don't want you to leave, but if you feel like you want to, go ahead, just close the door behind you.

So I left. Slightly still frightened but mostly just relieved to no longer be in that house with him. As soon as I walked out, the officer saw me and called me by name. Probably looked up my license plate since it was in the driveway trying to figure out what was going on. Asked me if Mr. Body builder was always so rude. I said I had no idea, I didn't really know him but left because I felt uncomfortable and would not have handled the situation in the same way and gave the officer as much information about Mr. Body Builder that I could and he thanked me and I went home.

On my drive home.... Mr. Body Builder calls me twice. Leaves a message. Obviously I didn't answer. The message basically was saying that he wanted to talk to me about what happened... tried to explain why the officer was there and then told me he wanted to talk to me about it because he was uncomfortable with me telling him what to do when someone was knocking at his door and was uncomfortable with how I left and understands if I never want to see him again, but that I needed to talk to him about it first.  Yeah.... I didn't call him back.

Then he sends me a text saying "Why won't you talk to me? I was really enjoying your company!" Yeah... didn't reply to that either. Make up your mind, do you like me or are you upset at me for telling you what to do in your house? ha ha

He calls again... This is the message he left.
"Good afternoon Tracy, this is Mr. Body Builder. All I'm asking for sweetheart is one call that's all. I'm new to online dating and if I offended you or disturbed you ... uh... any of that stuff that's negative, I would like to speak to you just about the situation in general because of being online and the new dating stuff, we talked about that before and I would at least like to have a conversation with you. I know you aren't interested in being my friend because you deleted me as a friend on facebook and I understand, I'm happy to go my own way and stuff... I just want to have one simple conversation with ya. So if you could be kind enough and give me the courtesy for that sweetie and your welcome to call me anytime you want to just talk to me for a couple of minutes to have a simple conversation about it and then I will feel better. I would appreciate that very much so. Thank you, I look forward to hearing from you. Bye now."

If you are thinking... I bet she didn't call him back... You are totally correct. I wish he stopped there. He decided to send a couple more text messages before he hopefully has given up.

"One call that's all :-) give me that Tracy Mills"
"It would mean a lot. You know I get so emotional over this online dating stuff"

Dear Mr Body Builder, You will NEVER hear from me again! Please move on to all of the other "action" you have going on online. Good luck with dating and good luck with the cops. Thanks for providing another guy story for my blog. It had been a while.  Sincerely, Tracy


Kayleigh said...

Oh. My. Heck!!! That guy is cray cray! You might need to block his number. What a creep!

Lori said...

That is a wild story sister! I would have been freaking out at the part when there was a cop at the door and he didn't care!!! What! Glad you got out of there and you definitely need to block his number!

Lynette Mills said...

I'm always glad I hear these stories after they are over. I might have a heart attack if you called me in the middle of one. There sure are some creepy weird guys out there.

Meg said...

I'm glad you have a terrible Tinder experience to add to the collection I've made!
Speaking of which, I still need to write in that book of yours!! :)

Karen Ella said...

Holy what in the free world?!?!? Uh, no. no no no no no no no. Good moses, I laughed and gasped and all sorts of stuff. Love you, Trace!

Karen Ella said...

hahhahhah! I just had my friend read this and her first comment was, "......how is HE new to online dating?!" hahahahahhah!

Tracy said...

Ha ha ha... I know right?! Everything about him was out of control. Love you too Karen!

Meg! Yes! I need you to write in the book, you would have some great additions. Next time we get together...

Erin said...

Hahahaha!!! I am your newest follower/fan!! You have me on this story!:)

jamie hixon said...

SHUT. UP. That is not real. I swear if I didn't know you (and some of your other dating stories) I would swear you made that up. Poor guy, but seriously... psycho! That is like, the crowning achievement of all bad dates. If this were a video game, I think you would have just beaten the final boss. For real.

flux biota. said...

I need to buy you a handheld cattle prod or some m.a.c.e! This guy is a total creep!

Darrell said...

oh. my. gosh!!!!! This is so hilarious!! You couldn't make this up. I was seriously laughing out loud at my desk the whole time I was reading this. This is so golden. hahahahahahah

Janene "Jeannie" Jaynes said...

Men like that tend to pray on weak women. He had no idea that you had a brain, and lucky for all of us that you do! What a freak. Using tender words to try to win you back. I don't think he realized you need to like someone before you can use words of endearment. And the whole kicker, the cop...seriously...we are all face palming our foreheads over that part! I think that needs to be on a list of what never to do on a date!

Moroni said...

Your story is crazy! It made me think of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0

Lil Lizzie said...

tracy this KILLS me. my mind is blown.