Possibly The Weirdest Email I Have Ever Received

Sometimes I forget just how public my blog is. Sometimes I don't really think about how much I share. I mean... I do, but I don't really think of who is reading... who is reading regularly and if we even know each other. Sometimes people that read my blog regularly feel like they know me because I am so open and share a lot of what I am doing and a lot of my thoughts and feelings. It doesn't bother me at all, but sometimes it is interesting with some people. They know me so well... and I really don't know them. It's one sided and a part of me thinks that is cool and another part of me thinks it's a little awkward. It has brought a lot of great opportunities because I have had friends tell me something I went through and wrote about made an impression on them or I have made better friendships and relationship's with family and friends because they read my blog. It's cool. However... sometimes on a rare occasion, people feel like they know me well enough to give me advice when they have never met me. Like this email I got. I mean... I know who she is, but we have never met. I came close to marrying her brother. She was the only sibling of his that I didn't meet because she lived in another state... but she started reading my blog when we were dating.... and continued long after the engagement broke off and he was not only no longer a part of my life, but he was married to someone else. We because Facebook friends while I was dating her brother and we still are. She for some reason took a liking to me. I mean... I feel like I'm a pretty likable person, but why keep up on a girl that your brother didn't end up marrying? She is very sweet... and it has been 5 years since she wrote me this email.... but I have never been able to forget it. You will see why...

Email was titled:

Fiesta San Jacinto - possible weird email read at home alone

Hi Tracy, I have work off today because today is a paid city holiday call San Jacinto-must love San Antonio. This is going to be kind of a weird email but here goes: I have spent some time thinking about you. I love watching stuff you do like the disco outfit and countless other things. What I have concluded is that you are one of the most articulate, outgoing and upbeat people I have ever not known.

Here's the part where this message gets kind of weird. I spent a good part of my 20's avoiding things I shouldn't have - I could tell you more about this if you would like but here's the point: I avoided and avoided a mission. I am now 33 years old and DO regret not serving a mission.

The bottom line here is that I think Tracy Mills has ton of things to offer the world.

***Warning more weirdness ahead***

The Black Stallion I is my favorite movie.

Watch this clip now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kczfqks1LLw

Sometimes I think you are a beautiful wild horse that needs to have all that energy bridled. Have you ever seen the move the Black Stallion? In the movie there is a powerful untrained Arabian horse. Eventually through a series of events the horse is discovered and trained to be a champion race horse. The horse does not change who it is, but all the power in the horse is channeled by the trainer, and eventually the world sees & knows the horse as the champion it already was.

What am I saying here? I think you are the wild horse that is running on the ocean and through town. Do I think you need a bridle put on you - yes. What is the name of the bridle? A mission.

Back in the day when I was an undergrad in the business school they would always says that the difference between a finance major and an accounting major is like bowling: Finance people want to throw the ball, accountants keep score.

I am bringing this up because I think Tracy is the type that wants to throw the ball. I think I have seen enough of you to safely assume this is correct. However largely, I think you have been keeping score; I see you doing this on your blog pretty frequently. I will give more detail if you want. We can get out your blog postings and tally when you were in the game or when you were keeping score, lately it's been keeping a lot of score. Think about it.

I used to read your blog to spy on my brother, but now I read it because I think you're interesting and DO have a lot to offer. I AM suggesting it's time for you to do a mission, don't avoid it anymore. I AM suggesting you put on the bridle, get in the game, THROW THE BALL, become more of the real Tracy. I KNOW this is hard; I DO think you will regret it if you don't.

I'm sorry if you found this to be offensive, judgemental, egotistical, overly blunt or otherwise inappropriate. I have never written someone I don't know, especially on this personal of a level. You can block me off your facebook or tell me off, either is your choice. I will say that I wouldn't have written you this stuff if I honestly didnt think it was true. Just watch the horse in the movie...

Also, if you are not overly offended by now if you would ever like to visit San Antonio for a couple of days I would like to have you here. I think you would enjoy it.

With Love, ___________

See what I mean? It's a compliment and ..... not at the same time. I also to this day still don't understand what she meant when she was talking about throwing the ball and keeping score. I will say this though... it's 5 years later and I still have no regrets with any of the decisions I have made in my life. Including going on a mission. Would I have been an awesome missionary? If I had decided to go, yes... I believe I would have been, but I think that all depends on the desire you have to serve. I didn't go because for some reason, that desire never came. I was never against it... I don't know why that desire never came, but it didn't. I'm ok with it. I think I have been a great missionary in other ways and will continue to be. Am I a Black Stallion? I never really considered myself to be one. I'm still not sure if that is a compliment or not.

Like I said, weirdest email I have ever received. Maybe someone can help me make sense of it. Either way.... I kind of like it when people feel a personal connection with me because of what I share and write. It's a cool thing. Hard to explain, but I'll take it... the bad, the weird and the good.