A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Friday, July 30, 2010

Mr. Awkward Break Up

It's time. It has been a while since I have told one of my "Guy Stories", I have not had any recent stories, but there are always some classic oldies to share. :o)

This is from a guy that I dated about 6 years ago. We only dated for a few months. Really sweet guy, but when I look back on the experience, I wonder how the heck we ended up dating because we were SO different. We remained friends after the break up and sometimes I see him or his wife around and say hi and catch up. Both real nice people. The break up was still.... awkward.

Mr. Awkward Break up calls me over to "talk".... which he never did, so I already knew what was coming. I came over, took a seat on the couch (all the roommates were gone) and braced myself for what was coming. I mean.... I knew our relationship wasn't going towards marriage, but I liked him and was sad it was coming to an end already. Although, after the breakup, I am surprised that I didn't do it first. ha ha.

The "talk" went a little like this...

"Well... the thing is, its been a fun few months and I think your a great girl and everything, but I just don't see us going anywhere. You see, first of all, I know that my mom has never met you before, but uh, she doesn't like you, and I do whatever she says. Also, I think the language you use such as "sucks" is a sign of immaturity and I don't like it. You also kiss me too passionately *Side Note- He actually had a roommate meeting about how I kissed him too passionately and didn't know what to do. The roommates of course thought this was so funny and not a problem and told me about it the next day*, and I just can't date a girl that kisses me more than a peck on the lips. Another thing that concerns me is your testimony. I question this because of your immodesty. If you want to know what I am talking about... I think you can figure it out on your own. You also want me to not part my hair! I find this worldly, church authorities part their hair, so must I. I also don't like the fact that my roommates like you more than me.... so you see, its just not going to work out....."

                                      AWKWARD SILENCE

"So, What did you have for dinner?"

Me: "Um, seriously? You didn't just ask me that. I'm going to leave now"
Mr. Awkward Breakup: "No really, what did you have for dinner? Was it good?
Me: "Um, ya... it was great. See ya"

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I left. I was sad, but when I would tell people how it went down later, it just became more and more funny actually. After that, every time there was an awkward silence in any situation I would say "So, what did you guys have for dinner?" I even made that joke in front of him once and everyone laughed, and he didn't get it.
I think his roommates were sad when we broke up because they didn't think I would come hang out with them anymore... but I still did all the time. They actually ditched the guy I dated and took me with them to move into our next ward together (different apartments of course) and we are all still BFF to this day. Sometimes I wonder if that was the main purpose of us dating... so I could become good friends with his roommates. Either way, we all laugh about it now.At least he broke up in person rather than over an email (which happened to me with person I was engaged to)


Dallas and Kirsten said...

Wow you must be some kisser, Tracy! I swear you have the best stories :) I can't believe you wanted him to not part his hair...I mean honestly, the missionary part is totally smoking!

Tammy Jackson said...

I knew exactly who you were talking about from the beginning!! And I still got a good laugh today as I read the story.

Bre said...

ok, that's awesome. Sounds strangely familiar. I dated a guy who thought it was inappropriate to kiss more than just a peck. (How I dated him for THREE years, I'll never know. such a waste of time.)

anyway, that sucks sucks suck (like my language? hahaha) Why couldn't the punk just say, "It doesn't feel right" or "it's not you it's me." no reason to put you down while kicking you to the curb. what an idiot. and yes, you should totally laugh about it. His loss, not yours.

Jessica Stark said...

Wow! He actually said all of that? Yikes! You deserve way better!

Lauren Graff said...

AHHH haha who in the world is this guy? He seems so crazy! I laughed so hard reading this. I love these guy stories. I thought I had funny guy stories until I read some of your posts! :) haha

Des said...

oh wow. That is quite the amusing story. You seem so free spirited and worldly. Just from your blogs I don't see how you guys ended up dating lol

Things work out for the best though. Maybe the purpose of you two dating was just to make those special friends.

Sounds like a fascinating experience that break up lol
Glad it makes for a good laugh to you now :)

Jessica said...

Ahahahahahahaaaaaa. I was wondering when this one was going to show up. Wow, and wow. Trust me, I'm on your side with this one. All. The. Way.