I go through phase with how active I am on Tinder. Well, I guess right now you could say is a somewhat active phase.
I match with several guys, but don't really talk to them unless they start talking to me first. Mr. Food truck was not particularly good looking. Wasn't ugly, but he seemed to be funny (in his small profile) so I decided to swipe right. We were a match and he shortly after started chatting with me.
He wasn't as funny as I thought he would be. He also seemed to be a bit.... intense. He would text me, and if I didn't answer right away he would text again. Example.
Mr. Food Truck - (text) Hey, what's up?
a minute goes by
What have you been up to?
another couple minutes go by
Do you still want to hang out?
another couple of minutes go by and I don't answer.
Mr. Food Truck then calls me.
I pick up feeling very annoyed "Hi, I'm driving... that is why I can't answer all of your text messages"
Stuff like that. So I knew before we even went out that we were probably not going to mesh very well together. However, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
We meet at a place to eat in downtown Provo. He is polite and seems like a gentleman. We make a little bit of small talk about our day while we wait to be seated. Let me start off with going out to dinner with someone who is in the food industry is annoying. At least it was with this guy. Why? When the waitress said it would be a while before we were seated because they had a small staff Mr. Food truck says "Oh, I get it. Trust me.... if anyone gets it, it's me". Then during dinner he doesn't touch his food. It's no good. Tells me he is starving because he hasn't eaten all day because tasting food at work doesn't count because it's work. Then tells me he won't eat any of his food because it's not good and plus he has been eating all day so he's not that hungry. Mostly all he talked about was his food truck and how busy he is and how he just bought this crepe place because it was no good and he is going to make it better and then next he is going to buy this diner and then complain some more about how he is so busy and doesn't have a social or dating life.
When he wasn't talking about the food business, he told me how he joined the church. He is a convert. That's cool. So he starts telling me about his divorce and how his wife cheated on him and then he joined the church and was mad because they gave him a calling where he had to be there every Sunday when he can't be there every Sunday because of work and how they gave him 5 people to home teach right away even though he told them he was too busy for that... because of work and he claims they said "who cares, this what you do as a member of the church"..... which I don't believe for a second. I explained that if you talk to your Bishopric and communicate with them that you would love to serve, but maybe lets start off with home teaching 2 and see how that goes and I will accept this calling, but just so you know, I may not be able to be here every Sunday... if you don't think that is a good fit, maybe you can give me another calling.... they are NOT going to fight you on it. That is just not how the church works. If they were in fact saying that when he was communicating with them, then that is not a good thing and I would agree with him. However, he argued with me that he DID communicate that with them and they DID say that to him. So I just sat back and continued to listen. He then started telling me that a food truck friend of his got ex-communicated on his mission and had not had any interest in the church since... until he joined. I told him cool. Good for him. He said his buddy wanted to start coming back to church with him and was in his ward boundaries and the right age, but the bishopric rejected him from the ward because he didn't "meet the wards criteria" I tell him that isn't a thing. The church welcomes everyone that wants to come, so he must have misunderstood. He starts to get worked up and argue with me. He tells me it is true and they rejected his friend because he wasn't worthy to go to the temple and the point of the ward was just to get people married quickly. I don't believe him for a second, but I said IF that is true, you are right... that is not correct and should not happen. He continues to go off about it.
Mr. Food truck - "Yeah, so when my friend told me he was rejected from the ward, I got so mad and I called up the Bishop and told him to come take my temple recommend and that I was done with the church... I didn't want any part of it. The bishop apologized and let me friend in into the ward."
He finishes his story feeling quite proud of himself. After listening to him talk for about an hour without hardly saying anything I finally speak up.
Me - "I don't really believe that a Bishopric would do that, but if everything you are saying is true, but you did is still immature. Really immature".
Maybe I was too blunt, but I'm honest and I share my opinions. I said it in a nice way and tried to be understanding of his story... but I wasn't even having fun on the date since I was just listening to him talk anyway, so I wasn't too worried about what he would think about my opinion.
Mr. Food truck - getting even more worked up now and starting to raise his voice at me. "It wasn't immature! Even if it was, something needed to be done to get their attention to know it wasn't right... so what I did got their attention and it worked."
Me - "So you threw a fit to get your way? That isn't how you handle life. If what they did is true, you talk to them about it in a calm mature way. If you still don't agree with them, you simply go to a different ward. You don't threaten to leave the church because you threw a fit and didn't get your way. If you are truly converted, you would know that the church is true, but the people in the church are not perfect. You will more than once in your life be offended by something someone says or does in the church. The answer isn't to up and leave the church because of what one person does. You handles the situation poorly and were yes... immature."
After pretty much yelling at me at dinner (which I have to say is a first for me) he looked at me and said...
"Well... this was fun"
Me - "Yeah.... I got to know A LOT about you"
Which was true. I listened to him talk for over an hour while I sat there and listened and gave an opinion. It wasn't fun for me. None of it. I expected the night to end there honestly. I would have been more than ok with the,. What happened next surprised me.
Mr. Food Truck - "Well, do you want to go get a milkshake? I feel bad I didn't get to know anything about you"
I didn't really want to go, but at least he had realized that he wasn't being a good date, maybe he was going to redeem himself. I will give him that chance. So I agree. So we go walk to another place to get a milkshake. A terrible place to talk because the blender making the milkshakes all night is so loud. He asks me to tell about myself (nothing specific). So I tell him where I'm from and where I work which he then tells me they wanted to get the food trucks at my work.... back to him.... After that I managed to say I like to travel before he went off on how he is going to go to France this next year to learn more about food and the conversation was back to him the entire time. I think he learned 3 things about me. VERY basic things. I was done.
I hate it when guys do this on dates... and it always seems they do it when you have no interest in them... and well... he did it.
Mr. Food Truck - "So, can I take you on another date?"
Me - "Ummm.... I don't know" (it is SO hard to flat out say no when a guy asks you without sounding like a jerk)
Mr. Food Truck - "You probably think I'm an idiot and there is something wrong with me"
Me - "No, there is nothing wrong with you. I just think we have very different personalities and they don't really mesh together very well.... you can't really force that, it just happens and that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either one of the people"
So... he walked me to my car and I said thank you for dinner and gave him a hug (as I always do no matter how the date goes) and we said goodbye and haven't talked since... which I hope will stay that way. I feel like I made myself pretty clear.
Dear Mr. Food Truck. For your future dates, you might want to make the conversation equal. That is why you want to take the girl out right? To get to know them? I hope so. If you are just wanting to listen to yourself talk.... well... that is what therapy is for. Maybe you should look into that.
You make great burgers, not a great date.