A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Thursday, September 27, 2012

Confessions of a Brunette on the Internet 137

This week is quarter end. It has been busy and stressful. I hate being stressed. I get to stay late this quarter end.... again. Not excited to sit in my office for 12 plus hours. Oh well. You know what makes me happy? Planning trips. So... I think I will be buying a ticket to Boston and planning my trip to the Cayman Islands and to Cali with friends. That will cheer me up. :) That and my awesome roommate/Bestie Megan said she is going to visit me at work and bring my ice cream. She is the best. Seriously. Friday night, I'm stuck at work and she is going to visit and bring me a treat. That is a good friend.

I got a new calling this week. I was kind of sad.... because I like my calling (Relief Society Activities). I feel like I have done a pretty good job with it and planned a lot of fun and different activities that everyone would like. However... I knew it had to come to an end soon. I have had the calling for over a year. It was only a matter of time. Anyway... I was expecting to get something challenging, but I am just a committee member on communications. So I doubt I will be doing much. However... I have some suggestions on things that need to change.... like not getting a million notifications for everything that goes on int he ward via facebook and emails. Hopefully I can still make a difference in this calling. We shall see.

I went for a drive up the canyon on Sunday. It was GORGEOUS! Fall is so beautiful. I just wish it lasted longer. I can't wait to take my sister's family pictures up there this Sunday. I love taking pictures!

I'm just about done redecorating my living room. I just need to fill some picture frames with some pictures of me and my roommates which we need to take AND I want to paint an accent wall. A light grey... possibly textured. Then it will be complete. I love it too. Fun to switch things up. I will of course post pictures when it is done.

I wish that I loved to go running. I wish I didn't love junk food. I wish that I was better at taking my own advice. Sometimes I have to look back on old confessions to give myself pep talks with my own words. I wish people were more mature. I wish people didn't end friendships over silly things and miscommunication. I will say this though. Although I would never end a friendship and people who have, if they would ever want to be friends again I would welcome them with open arms... I have never felt so much weight taken off of my shoulders and free from so much negativity. More relieved than sad that people are not in my life anymore. I have never felt that way before. It is sad... but at the same time I have reached a point in my life where I am not willing to put up with with unhealthy behavior anymore. I'm done feeling bad for things that are not my fault and am done surrounding myself with people who don't appreciate me. It seems silly that this is even a problem, but you would be surprised the amount of people that I had in my life that was creating an unhealthy and depressing environment for me... and that is all done and I couldn't feel better. I can see and appreciate the good in everyone, but when people start to treat me poorly... well, there is no reason anyone needs to put up with that even if you started out friends. There is just no reason for anyone to treat anyone that way. It is just sad that I am finally realizing that and not taking blame for other people's actions. Thank goodness I have a lot of other amazing family and friends. :)

Are there ever days where you look in the mirror before you leave and you think... dang, I look good. Then you think that all day until you go to a public bathroom and look in the mirror... and then you think, what was I thinking when I thought I looked good when I left this morning? And then you see pictures of yourself and you think.... is this what people see when they look at me? Yuck! I feel that way. I'm convinced that my bedroom mirror is a lie. Pretty sure it is because my room is so dark because it is in the basement. Maybe it is a good thing that my bedroom mirror tells me lies first thing in the morning, because I believe those lies until another mirror or pictures tells me different. Better to feel good about yourself than not right?


MoNiCa! said...

T-rac! YOU are beautiful and always looks good! And I know what you mean about mirrors lying. I fel that way about my Ikea mirrow. UGH. And I'm sorry you had to work so late on Friday. We seriously need to hang out. I miss you. Life has been crazy busy lately and AUdrey has been sick but I will call you soon! :D

jamie hixon said...

Oh my goodness, I feel that way all the time!! With the bedroom mirror I mean. I actually cried on Easter because I was like "I look so cute" and then Dan got me on video a little bit and I looked like a white trash cow that was trying too hard. Boo. Mostly I just don't look in mirrors, and it is all good.

I'm glad you have purged from negativity. And yay for redecorating.