A Girl Should Be Two Things: Classy & Fabulous. - Coco Chanel


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Confessions of a Brunette on the Internet 112

Quality of Life

These last few weeks have been filled with a lot of heart to hearts with different people and different events that have happened which have lead to a lot of pondering for me. With all the pondering I have decided that it all goes back to the quality of life. When I have these types of deep thoughts and realize things that I need to change in myself... it is like revelation that I feel like I need to share with the world. Kind of like my confession to choose happiness. I want to share the things that have happened and the realizations I have come to that are hopefully going to help me live a better life. Prepare yourself, I can see this being a long post.

I will start with health. I have always been aware of health, but I think there are times in my life that I am more aware than others. Since January, many of you know I have been trying really hard to lose weight. This has made me really aware of my exercise and eating habits. I would like to report that I finally weighed myself today and that I have lost 20 pounds since the beginning of January. Hopefully I can keep it up. Not the point of my story though. I got a much needed massage this week from my friend Dallin. We traded. We both gave each other a 2 hour massage on different days. Every muscle in my body was tight and I felt like by getting this massage I was really seeing what my body needed and taking care of it. I feel like this is so important. My co-worker and I are always talking about health. She is my gym buddy and cheerleader in my journey for better health. We talk about different things we can do to improve and we are always pinning things about health and exercise on pintrest. The other day I pinned a diagram of an overweight person and the % of getting different diseases and other problems by being overweight. If that isn't a motivator to lose weight on it's own... I don't know what is. I also watched the movie "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" which was recommended by my mom. It is a documentary about an Australian man who is overweight and has many health problems and decides to do a 60 day fast where he is just juicing and he lost all this weight and was able to get off of all his medications. It was inspiring. He also helped another guy who was 430 pounds and you got to see his journey to better health as well. I went away from watching this movie wanting to be healthier and never let anything like this happen to me. What really shocked me though is when this guy went around asking different Americans there thoughts on food. And why they love fast food so much and if they realized what eating that stuff was doing to their body... and if they knew they would die at 60 by continuing to eat that way, if they would stop.... and even though most people already feel crappy by the way they eat and if they knew they would die early because of it... they were not willing to give it up and they didn't care. So sad. I know that since I have been exercising regularly and eating really healthy, I have not only lost weight, but I have not gotten sick either. I feel better, I'm not depressed when I look in the mirror anymore, I am happier. People like to place blame on their weight and health problems, but you can fix it. It is your problem, don't put the blame on anything but yourself. It all comes down to a choice that you make about the quality of life that you want to have.

Next I want to talk relationship's with people. A couple of weeks ago I heard some friend's talking behind my back. As much as I was hurt by this, I was glad I heard it. That might be a funny thing for me to say... but what they were saying about me were things they had assumed and were not true at all. Not only was it a good reminder that it is not fun to be talked about behind your back, but I am guilty of it too, so it was even a better reminder of me not to talk behind other people's back's. Making assumptions and not communicating with people that you have a problem with are dangerous waters to get into. I think these two things cause so many problems. I am guilty of this too. There are a couple of people in the ward that I didn't like at all at first just because of what I had observed and assumed about the people before even getting to know them. SUCH a mistake. Although these people may have qualities about them that annoy you and that may not change, by getting to know the people and understanding their intentions and where they are coming from can change your opinion on them. I think most people mean well and don't mean to come across how they come across to other people. I feel that in most cases, if you have a problem with someone... it is your problem, not theirs. I know that I feel so much better when I go to church or work or whatever and don't have bad feelings towards people. When I can be happy and friendly and nice to everyone. Again, it is all about the choice that you make about the quality of life that you want to have. Happy and Drama free. :) Plus, when you are not focused on your assumptions and opinions on people and how YOU feel all the time, and when you are being friendly and reaching out to people, you can see when people are in need. I know that these type of people are the ones I look up to, admire, love being around and want to be more like.

Last I want to talk about dating. That is what most of my heart to hearts have been about in this past week. I have recently (after the last heart to heart with the most recent guy that I dated) that I need to be better about communicating and to not be nervous or worried about how the other person will handle the possible awkward talk or whatever my fears of communicating with guys were. I think so many problems could be solved with more communication (this goes for everything). I was worried about why a certain guy was acting a certain way and I had my guesses of why but was not sure and it was killing me. I wanted to have a conversation about it with him but I didn't want him to think I was a crazy girl wanting to have a DTR when we don't know each other that well. I just bit the bullet and told him we needed to talk and threw it out on the table. I'm so glad that I did because he was feeling the same way I was feeling and my guess of what he was feeling was correct and I was able to address it and let him know that it wasn't true and things went back to normal rather than getting worse and potentially getting awkward and or miserable every time I saw him. We also were both assuming that the other person was mad at us because of text (worst form of communication). I sent a text, he responded, I didn't get it, I thought he was mad, I didn't respond because I didn't get it and he thought I was mad. See where assumptions get you? ha ha. Anyway... just an example. After Disney movie night I was talking to a few guys in my ward. Dating was brought up and they were blaming the girls for why they were single. They have all been burned in their dating experiences... I get that. Those feelings are valid and if I told you I didn't do the same thing about guys, I would be lying. Basically this conversation with the guys ended in a lecture... from me. Blaming the other gender is not the answer. Sure there are girls out there that are jerks and mistreat guys. There are also guys that are jerks and mistreat girls... does that mean that I can label all guys as jerks? NO! Not fair. I told them that they were just wanting to place blame on someone for the reason of why they are still single. I told them that they had just become bitter and being bitter was not going to help their situation because girls can sense bitter guys from a mile away just like guys can about girls. Sure dating is harder for some than others, but I feel like if you are happy with who you are and you are making the most out of life and doing your best to do what is right and you don't give up on dating... that you are honestly trying everything you can, Heavenly Father is not going to leave you hanging. He will bless you. I mean... I have seen some pretty weird people get married, so if they can get married, anyone can get married. You have to just keep putting yourself out there. You can't give up. The last guy that I was kind of seeing came over on Sunday and started telling me all of his drama in his new relationship (of 2 months) and wanted my advice on how to fix it. I told him to date longer before he got married. I doubt he will listen. I just think that much drama in such a short amount of time is a red flag. Anyway, although I thought it was interesting that he came to me to talk about his gf drama... I was so happy that not only I wasn't sad over him anymore and not even the least bit jealous of hearing of his new girlfriend but I was happy to see this side of him so that I could be happy to move on and find someone that is a better fit for me. I was happy that I actually learn from my past and that makes me stronger that I know what to look out for and avoid the next time around (instead of making the same mistake again after swearing you will never do that again... like this guy). All of this lead to a heart to heart with my BFF neighbor. We talk about dating a lot and all the ways guys and girls think so differently, but even though we think differently, I always agree with the things my BFF neighbor says and wonder why more people don't see things that way and why it is so complicated. I think it again goes back to the fact that if people communicated more and assumed less, things would be a lot better off.

The conclusion to all of this pondering of mine that I have had lately is this. I want to always be happy and think the best of people (give them the benefit of the doubt). I don't want to assume, if I think there is a problem, I want to communicate with the person and make sure we are on the same page. I don't want to worry about things that are out of my control. I want to be the type of person that I want to attract. I want to be healthy and feel good about myself. I don't want to dwell on things I have no control over and   don't want to focus on things that don't matter. I want all of this because I want the best quality of life. Everyone should want the best quality of life, but that choice is in their own hands. I just want to go around helping people make that decision. I want to tell everyone that their life can be way better than what they are making it out to be. I want to help change the way people think. Besides my few heart to hearts here and there... all I can do is blog about it.


Lynette Mills said...

very insightful post tracy. I agree with you 100 percent!

Lori said...

Way to go Tracy- you could be a motivational speaker on the side :) Oh it's your attitude, attitude that makes you do the things you do..

jamie hixon said...

Your "friends" who were talking about you behind your back reminded me of Elder Uchtdorf's talk. (Stop it.) And isn't it nice when life starts to make sense for a little while. Ha.